with my Injun friend
the night before
i cooked him and Hypnodaddy dinner
Kitchari, of course
... and salad.
then we retired to the bed
i smoked cigarettes
the first in over a month
it made me feel tired
and odd in my body
what might have been a night of sex magic
turned into conversation
and i got in-depth into my ideas of "love"
and the difficulties of what i perceive of B and A's relationship
yet the respect i have...
we talked about my freak-out idea about those on the planet that have sold their souls...
he tells me about Harry Hay's ideas about "subject/object"
-- the big problem with western culture is
they turn everything they want to exploit into an object made for the exploitation
be it a glass
or nation of people
or wife, children, employees, etc...
as he talked like that
life's colour drained out
everything was gray
and i wanted to die
then he started talking how the injun's thought:
the glass was a gift
we give thanks
so glad it holds the water for us
the doll is alive
because we give it life
everything is alive because we respect it's life
and if we give it enough life
that doll could get up and walk around...
everything became palpably happy again.
"but currently the world is a mess... i hope some elightened beings come along soon and clear this all up..."
laying in bed...
i tell him
i've always believed i should be that enlightened being who saves the world
("in an intersteller burst: i'm back to save the universe")
i tell him
i believe it's only through love that that can happen
perfecting myself for them
they perfecting themselves for me
as i: for myself.
we could do more with love together than we could ever alone...
but how can we make that happen?
i really see no good examples of that...
and all my lovers freaked out and ran scared from me
or dissapeared in a drunken sleep every night..
.. i have open hands now
i don't do that any more...
he... he said that to
"no, i don't do that anymore"
we went to sleep.
woke at 5:30 or so
and i was struck by either my body keeping me from something
or his body keeping me from it...
so it was cuddling and talking
more story telling
and i drifted back into dreaming
woke around noon
and did yoga
for him to see
than jumped on the train
deciding not to go home and change
just went up to the garden in the bronx to work...
bridget wasn't there
she didn't show up til 5:30
and by that time
i had to leave soon to meet my Jewish Friend of the night...
but while i worked in the garden
i listened to Erlend Oye's DJ Kicks album
some of the new Verve Remixed..
Broken Social Scene
and Apostle of Hustle...
still caught up so much in Feist's "Intuition"
... my brother called
and asked me if i would officate over his wedding...
is there a way i could become an official clergyman so i could marry him and his fiance?
i said i would look into it...