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December 7th, 2002

Re: you @ 08:49 pm

Date: Sat, 7 Dec 2002 20:49:47 -0800 (PST)
From: "dominick vyne" <vyne23@yahoo.> View Contact Details
Subject: Re: you
To: "my name is Eli" <uselesschatter@hotmail>
You?
what is this talk about you?

i am sorry
i didn't mean to leave you alone.

have you met leo yet?

i love him and miss him.

i am concerned about you.
yes i am afraid.
but
hey
that's nothing new

i listened to "scatterheart" today
and realize how much i wish that for you

"there's nothing i'd love to do more
than spare you from that burden
offer comfort and protection
if i only could
shelter you
from that pain

(just to make things easier on you)

-- you're going to have to find out for yourself."

perhaps i worry about you in leiu of worrying about myself

i am also in a lot of pain
and so on and so forth
but you are you
and you are not me

(the lengths that i will go to
the distance in your eyes)

since your friend sent me the email about your dad's Prions
i have eaten a lot of british beef.

hmmm, yum.

i like how she presented it
not in these words
but like

"well, damon was just one of the lucky 300 or so in america that have
just magically go this"

there is no such thing as safe.

everything is poison.

have i told you about the peacock?

it is one of my good memories of Mongolia
(no, actually, i never wore my red suede vest in mongolia)
i was told why pecocks are so reviered in buddhist teaching:
there are these
berried
that if anyone eats them
humans
animals
birds
babies...
They Die.
very strong poison.
but the pecocks, of course
they go around eating these berries all the time


the poison just makes them more beautiful.

(you're gonna have to find out for yourself)

(63 65 69... 72)

so some of us are babies and people and animals and deamons and
some of us are peacocks

shake that hips
shake that die
ce
and roll is out

trip over your tail feathers
and fly around

there's some pain in the air

but no
that's not why i haven't emailed you:


it's been very hard for me to spend ANY time on my self the last three
or four or five weeks.

fucking xavier
and jacov
and bob

whatever
manifesting these attention suckers
these people around me that constantly demand all of my energy

i want a holiday!

nope!

but i am in wales now

west wales
where we'd take the ferry over to ireland, actually
but we're not going to do that right now.

we're going back to london tomorrow
and going to cologne on thursday

but we'll not get into that with eli, no we won't.

(just to make things easier on you)

we will, however, tell him a little about Solva
the small town were David Grey comes from
and how dominic
(our hero)
took off his boots and slung them over his shoulder
and walked many miles
for about three hours
along the cliff edges

YES
singing hyperballad and anchor song
and sail away and stony end
and... of course, a few others.
classics
our favourites

eli, i am very tired now

i walked bare foot!
the grass was so soft!
it was so pretty!
god and i are friends again
we love eachother
he came out from behind the clouds and hugged me

it was nice too.
i liked it.
and lost my little stone

oh.

(underworld song)

gee, i don't know, elii
why haven't you written me and told me something about your life

you gotta be a better translator
i mean
transmitter
you
mister reciever

(how does that go?
connector in
reciever out
you let me in through the back door)

i love you and stuff
and you have featured prominaentely in my Treams over the last few
hallucinagenic nights
( a girl at a party gave me some welsh mussshies)
( i walked through glastonbury, up the tor... ran through the hills...
ripped my pants up right through the skin of my legs )
we were performers
in a city devided between audiance and actors

this isn't very different than reality?

we were very tired and had a lot of work to do
and it was hard to get everything to cooperate.

there were a few other dreams
other nights
but they were mostly like this.

and there are saints

and loved ones.

dreams.
and loved ones.

far away

hey hey
honey

give your daddy a kiss on the fore head
and take back the evil spell famous joe cast on him
and close your eyes
and put your hands on him
and go inside
and find him
and give him a hug
and open your belly
so that nasty black and blue empty space between you and your dad can
disappear
so you two can feel eachother before he disolves

you know that's what pisces are all about: dissolving back into god
personality and soul falls apart
returns to the void
so catch the threads before they are just part of the ocean again
coz you're a virgin
and can't breathe underwater yet

ugh

i love you

goognight

i am very tired.

and, yeah
scared i will hurt you more than help you

... i am doing the best i can

( i am not trying to break your heart )


--- my name is Eli <uselesschatter@hotmail.> wrote:
> why have you stopped writing?
>
> i miss you. are you afraid?
>
>
>
>
 
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