dominicvineoftheowls (dominicvine) wrote,

my ideas of giving and recieving

Date: Sun, 9 Mar 2003 20:50:06 -0800 (PST)
From: "de nada" <> Add to Address Book
Subject: my ideas of giving and recieving
To: "Enda McCool" <>
well, i didn't start bottoming until i was 18
i was scared of it!
the first guy who fucked me was 50 something
it was so hot!
he fucked me for about two hours
and i remember laying there in a puddle on the bed
with my head blown off
>>OH! THAT is what Sex is all ABOUT!<<
i wanted to get fucked all the time after that
the next guy really hurt me
the next few really hurt me
then i got warts up my ass
and stopped getting fucked for two years

good thing i did, i think

i've just really started getting fucked again over the
last year.

now, unfortunately, i don't know how well i can
explain this to you
you say
you don't "believe" in sexual energy

do you believe in any energy at all?


do you believe in the chinese energy meridians?
do you believe in Lay Lines?
do you believe in Reiki?
do you believe in magick?

sex is the most powerful act we have at our finger

yeah, generally
when a man fucks another man
if you look at his face
there is anger there
or fear
or some weird fucking domination thing going on
which, as far as i understand, is all about insecurity
if you are secure with yourself
you don't need to dominate another person

i remember reading that
with the Greeks
the mentors wouldn't actually FUCK so much
they would to frattage
between the legs
because penetration WAS demeaning in their society

i have been love-fucked a few times
and anger-fucked a few times
and really
i am a picky person
it is rare i get satisfyingly fucked

i'm much more of a top, anyway
i've still got a LOT to learn about bottoming
because it's RECIEVING
laying back
suffering it
taking it
it's hard
hard to relax and recieve
for me...

that being said
i've noticed that whenever someone fuckes me
i get some of their energy
that being said
only two people have cum in me over the last two years
so far as i remember
two.. three?
not many
it's just too... Much.
i would say dangerous
but that's not right.

having someone open your root with their root
is one thing
having someone dump their seed
the material manifestation of their life energy
that which they use to create another life
that which they use to pass on their story
having that planted in your root
well, that's a little too much for me, often
i mean
i'd love to find a partner i love
and want to be sewn by
i'm picky

in the past
when i've had peole cum in me
that i DIDn't trust
or even KNOW
it just fucked me up
and i had to do a lot of work to get myself clear

still, i love it
the taking in

when fucking
that's what i focus on
loving that person
and making my cum an exlir of love to shoot in them
bless them in some way


i'll fuck someone
( i don't use condomns much )
cum in them
then keep fucking them for a while
coz once i've CUM
i've arrived.
once i'm there
i can be there with my mate
always better when he shares this consciousness, of
because then we're there together
we can go places
inside of eachother
and ...

but that's my trip

any questions?



--- Enda McCool <> wrote:
> I forgot to ask you what conclusions you have drawn
> from you own experience of bottoming. Since you
> began
> having sex with older men at age 12, you must have
> had
> more experience being fucked than I ever will.
> I was just reading a study of Greek male-to-male sex
> that argued that bottoming was looked down on
> because
> it lowered the status of the bottom to that of
> women.
> The worst was for an older man to let himself be
> fucked by a younge. But even the younger bottoms
> were
> not supposed to enjoy it. They were supposed to give
> themselves just out of admiration for the older man.
> For a younger man, being fucked was not so bad
> because
> it was considered natural for boys and youths to
> pass
> through a period of inferiority to older men and it
> was only temporary.
> Fucking a guy has often been seen as a way of
> punishing or humilating him. A good excuse for the
> top. Anyway, I enjoy being topped as long as I think
> the fucker likes me and respects my humanity before
> and after fucking me. Greater love hath no man but
> to
> give his asshole to a big buddy.
> Jerry
> ---

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