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May 1st, 2005

preparing for beltane @ 12:43 pm

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Date:May 13th, 2005 01:13 am (UTC)
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Date:May 13th, 2005 08:13 pm (UTC)
i was just trying to express the feeling of panic and everything
i don't really have AIDS
it was a shocking feeling i got after waking up from that lucid dream that felt like an acid trip
(i haven't tripped in a long time, : one of the reasons i stopped was because it was always about AIDS... -- i would expand my consciousness and represent the whole society (as i can comprehend it) and that would be shown to me as being sick with AIDS == so i would have AIDS -- and it was terrifying and there was no way out but... Death.
so i stoped with the psychadelics after a while... shamanistic death and all... but fuck, it was too much. -- that's what the dream felt like--- when the zipper went straight [ i didn't do a good job of explaining that: in my crazed state-- the zipper was my DNA, the kink in the chain was the HIV... --: when the zipper went straight i realized i was just panicing and it was just a dream and everything was fine... the rain was falling softly... everything was OK... i went back to sleep)

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