since João's girl friend got here
i haven't seen him much
which is par for the course, of course of course
but last night the three of us, plus an argentinian friend of Lua (J's GF) named Gabriela, sat around talking for a few hours
which was only minimally interesting for me
as Gabriela was hitting on me all the time
and could only speak spanish and portuguese
Lua is the same
so i am sitting there feeling like a dumb american
often laughing to myself
and then needing to explain to them...
eventually i got tired of it
and went to sleep
these experiences here
combined with the book i am reading
is really making me think about Solitude a lot...
how.. i am not really enjoying myself, i just want to be alone
so imagine sitting on the mountain top reading book after book
(i wish i could be that simple)
the last chapter i read was so startling
about the eldest mother going blind and learning about her other senses
never letting anyone know she had gone blind
(for, if they they knew, they would think her useless)
and one of the eldest sons
who had hardened his heart so hard against his memories
that when he finally felt a moment of tenderness and tried to open up to it
it killed him...
... i am frustrated by this solitude i feel
that i have almost always felt
that abstracts me from those around me
but i feel to give into it would be a big mistake...
... still... in part.. it is who i am...
so, this morning i woke up
to the three of them running around in a rush
all talking at me in spanish and portugese
and then they left
i wandered around for a while
we've been getting going after noon the last few days
so today i figured it was about the same
i did some yoga, read a chapter of the book
had some Açai
and then took off to the Vila to catch a bus to the top of the island..
when i finally arrived at the Vila
(it was a longer walk than what i thought, probably about 4kms)
i saw a clock that said it was 10:22!
i must have got up REALLY EARLY
and the temperature was all ready 33c
the last few days have been kinda cloudy
today was blindingly clear
eventually i got the bus
and went as far as it would take me
and then walked another 4kms...
now, a quick note about the architecture on this island
i have often noticed here that they respect nature in a very odd way
they build walls with holes in them for the trees to go through
likewise with huge boulders...
and in one of the houses i went in there were a few boulders built into the floor in the garage and patio outside...
it's shocking and beautiful...
so, this beach i got to...
i was really burning badly in the sun at this point
so i got there and threw all my stuff on a rock
and jumped in the water
i could swim forever here
the water isn't as bath-watery warm as it was in hawaii
but still Wonderful
i then took a walk up a visible trail...
it led to a Mango Grove!
so i got to feast on mangos all day
climb the tree, built like a house! all the way up high
there were many mango trees, many jack-fruit trees... many coconut trees
i got to throw coconuts and smash them on the rocks and then rip them open with my bare hands
feed them to the dogs...
the mangoes were being eaten by huge bees...
but they were friendly...
however, i also had my first experience of being bitten by ants with a sting that lingered, feeling like i was being bitten over and over and over, even when they were gone...
found some wild tomatoe plants and ate some...
and then there was another nightshade
all covered with thorns
looking very much like tomatoes
would have killed me
i was tired
so i lay down on a rock that had been baking in the sun all day
a huge black rock being beaten by the surf
big enough for three of me to lay on
when the shade covered it
it was still radiating heat
and i rolled on my belly and slept for a few hours there
dreaming to the lullabye of the waves...
when i woke i started playing with this little black dog that was watching me
he would curl up and sleep with me
then start biting me
in that playful-dog way
we walked up the path from the beach together and as we got to the road
he jumped out in front of a car that was comming
they didn't hit him
he was a good dog
"seeing that you're stopped... could you give me a ride?"
they were from Finland and spoke english perfectly
smooth sailing all the way home...