i've left the Hermitage
i was trying to kinda keep it under wraps
but i never asked anyone for secrecy
so it got out on a friend's journal
i'm moving to NYC on the 23rd.
it's just after the equinox
and mercury will be retrograde in Aries
and the moon is waxing, nearly full
i packed a bunch of stuff into
a huge suit-case i took from Y
and a duffel bag i took from my father
mailed a large box of books (and my essential oils) to NYC already
we should arrive around the same time.
i land at about 11:30 in JFK on Jet Blue
but not in a bad way
i think this is the first time i've ever been "packed" days before i was leaving
it leaves me with a "waiting on the platform" feeling.
now i'm sitting in Leo's apartment in the fog of Fort Bragg...
i'm sad to be leaving Leo
he's so beautiful to look at
and so wonderful in so many ways
but i must be moving on
it is time for me to find my feet and grow...
i'm very happy to be moving to New York for many reasons
there are many people there i respect and admire
and certainly a few i love
one of them is who i'll be living with
a girl i met at Heartwood back in 2000
She is also a traveller
also does massage, and very much in the way i do it
in that, she's been doing it most of her life from intuition
and Heartwood gave her more form to sell it through
.. and in other similarities.
she's an Herb Girl
she works with them all the time
they talk with her...
she's a Virgo
Scorpio rising? moon? i don't remember
she's from texas originally.. half irish, half mexican
a performance artist
works with puppets
and we'll be living in a tenement on the lower east side
doing massage out of there
and interracting with a community
that has moved it's base From there
up to the Bronx
a community devoted to protecting gardens in the NYC metro area
which gives me a very good feeling that i can be involved with that
and with her...
and there are some kids (and bears) that i've known in NYC since '97!
there are new friends
and one that blows my heart open in a walking-through-flames kinda way
and that's exciting too
exciting that i will be in the same town
and not living WITH him
so tender to love, don't suffocate it!
a relationship that is not Long Distance
as so many of mine have been (of course)
but not too near
room for dancing
for taking naps
and staying up late too..
a kidd i've been loving for a long time
that i want to spend long hours caressing
making love with!
that City that i have long lusted for and dreamed about
we have flirted with eachother since i was 15
and i've recieved many gifts already
and many trials
i'm sure to get more
and so happy to be challenged
to step up
and GIVE to it
the great big city of isolation and intimacy
i am mourning the loss of California
a state that has always left a bad taste in my mouth
and a warning quiver in my belly
it is still a beautiful one
filled with so many attractive places and people
such wonderful potentials and hopes
i often fall through them into emptiness
taste them and find the flavour has no base
it pulls and tugs at my heart and dreams
maybe that's what it's best at doing
i'm very grateful that the world has given me NYC to gestate in for my saturn return
a place of real grounding and structure, yes...
i may live in this house a long time
or only months til i find my own place
but i am very happy it is here
Thank You, Thank You
i'm on my way.