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July 8th, 2012

34.34 @ 02:26 am

I'm 100% F.U.N.
People Are Awesome These Days

See that guy?
he's hot
he's a cool guy
he's a lot of fun


I wish I could end this egoist cycle on an UP note
but my mind feels poisoned
I'm feeling incredibly antisocial
and I have no clue how to talk myself out of it

I'm grateful I won't have to continue saying things publicly
I can return to this year's practice of noodling to myself

when did it all go so wrong?

I'm looking forward to (craving) this next mercury retrograde cycle
something from the past!
when I seemed to be more functional!
something silly and filled with pride

moving along my trine
from impulsive firey water-controller
to the pair of virility and senility
I mean, seniority!
a brave and arrogant aggression
and fathers and lawyers and rulers

what could they be?
four years ago?
I'm not certain. . . does the mercury retrograde cycle work like that?

short hair
new plans
new attempts
sticking to our guns. . .

I meditated this morning upon waking
it was some small comfort
but so much spiraling static

platitudes, please
This Too Shall Pass
my hands are open for the next
. . .

My Ship (something something. . . )

. . . i achieved precious little tonight
but enjoyed time with a friend
who shared half of a quaylude he found in a stash from 30 years ago
I massaged him until I felt too heavy
I'm laying down and ready to sleep

silly world
we will play tomorrow

thank you for all the blessings!

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Date:July 8th, 2012 06:41 am (UTC)

advice from an old drag queen

when I had days like that a drag queen I once knew would say, "Let me tell ya sumthin' ho- nee. You jus gotta not take so many bitch pills for brekfass is all. You be aright."

I guess I lost track of what I was doing. I was taking more than the usual dose.

Date:July 9th, 2012 07:49 am (UTC)
Trouble with meditation is it is like a diet, the first time does little....
Date:July 9th, 2012 09:13 pm (UTC)
I fell asleep on the beach and woke up with sand in my face...
damn ludes!! I was in the litter box and the cat...
Date:July 10th, 2012 11:03 pm (UTC)
and then there was the guy on ludes, strings of drool almost to the floor, could barely keep from falling off the chair spouting on and on about how disgusting drunks are...

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