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Vertical Prose

March 2nd, 2005

straight porn @ 08:47 pm

i've been a bit fixated on straight porn lately

old chubby men fucking girls.

when i first saw straight porn i was 11
i got out of porn when i was 14

but i know a lot of gay men who prefer straight porn

i got some porn of some "dirty old man" german teacher guy "fucking a girl"
some 30 year old
but there's something so beautiful about a cock in a vagina...
i like the word "cunt" i hope i don't mean to offend people; i don't like the word pussy.

and especially these 60 year old guys fucking younger women..

but what is it?

i watched them
they got me so hard
i came and came and came

what is it?

i imagined i wanted to fuck a girl!
i got on craig's list and posted and ad for couples
but the guy who replied wanted me to fuck him and his wife
and the picture of his wife made me feel like i often feel when i'm viewing women as sexual objects:
kinda shameful
like i want to love and respect them
not fuck them.
not use them.


i can view men as sex objects
and love it

but women?

what is it?

do i want to be the woman?

i posted an ad on craig's list saying i wanted to be fucked like a girl
"fuck me like i'm a woman"
but i didn't get many replies from that
and i don't think that's really it.

but there's something so beautiful about watching a big fat daddy cock going in and out of a young cunt
something so beautiful
the big belly
the big balls
the beautiful flower of the yoni

i wish i was the woman!
i wish i was the man.

i want to be a fat old man!
i want to be an old man with a thick uncut cock...

i want to be a young girl getting fucked by a big daddy.

i want to be a young boy getting fucked by a big daddy
i want him to give me his essence
so i am him
so i have him inside of me to create with

i have an idea that men are the fleshy-machines of the stars
they pull down energy from the sky and make it manifest in body

the women are the fleshy-machines of the earth, the planets
they pull up energy and make it manifest HERE

the man pulls down that energy of the heavens
and gives it to the woman
and she MAKES something of it.

a basket.
a baby.
a functioning house.
a functioning family.
a nest.


the man makes ideas
the woman makes situations


i can be a woman or a girl
i can be a man or a boy
a dog
i can be whatever the fuck i want

i want a big fat daddy to give me his firey simple lust
the lust he has to give you a young woman

the desire of the old and experienced
the mature and experienced
the desire of all he's experienced
to pass that on to the potential of the young

i want that
i want it inside of me
to help me create the world.

straight porn: hot

not just hot coz of that
but there's something really hot about the way men fuck women
i mean
porn usually isn't very creative in their positions
and straight men aren't known for their variety of ways, necessarily
(by us gay folk)
but the way the hips move
the way the sounds growl
the way the grins spread
the way the labia open around the phallus
what the fuck? it's SO hot!

the way the turkish man, the german man
growls things at her
when he's close
to what?

the thing that bores me about porn most
is pulling out to cum

it's always much hotter to me
when they cum inside
and you can just tell from the moans
the noises
the motions
and the glow..

the way they move...

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[User Picture Icon]
Date:March 3rd, 2005 09:20 am (UTC)
Hugs to you. Reading you gives me hope.
[User Picture Icon]
Date:March 3rd, 2005 01:12 pm (UTC)
I enjoy porn in general.
It all has something interesting to offer.
I agree with much of what you've said regarding straight porn,
but generally,
I find gay porn
(of ALL varieties)
to be more arousing.
I'll never know why.
[User Picture Icon]
Date:March 3rd, 2005 09:11 pm (UTC)
yeah, i hear that a lot from grlz

and i think that is the bassis for a lot "queer" sex
we do gender-projection games
and i know you're mostly "hetero"
but you're still queer

that's part of what i've been going through in the last week about this:
how much do i want to get into my "girl" and make my butt my "pussy"?
i don't like that word because it seems deminutive
but i do like the word "cunt"
coz it sounds strong
like a cock
as opposed to a prick...

anyway... la la la
(no subject) - (Anonymous)
[User Picture Icon]
Date:March 3rd, 2005 08:21 pm (UTC)
we can't do that any more.

but you do it with your Lover, right?
(no subject) - (Anonymous)
[User Picture Icon]
Date:March 3rd, 2005 09:09 pm (UTC)
that's so frustrating to hear!
because you obviously are very... Energetic
the energy you project with your face, eyes... body, hands... Mouth!
i can only imagine what that'd be like with your cock and seed!

it always surprises me
the couples we end up in

but always with some huge chunk missing
that we just have to shrug and say
'well, i love him anyway'
and get on with it

what blessings or wishes can be bestowed upon you?
i wish for you
that you get a third commited person in your relationship that is a very energetic spiritual yogi playmate
that you can fuck naked
and be fucked naked by!
and dance
and play
and make love
in a way that even brings your current lover closer into it
to give your life even fuller satisfaction!


you're in Utah, afterall
what are you doing with only one wife!?

(but seriously: i've never been interested in coupling: always been interested in family-ing... )

HUGS and Blessings...
(no subject) - (Anonymous)
[User Picture Icon]
Date:March 3rd, 2005 10:37 pm (UTC)
yeah, i'm there with you, Daddy

in an environment like that
which is safe and playful and supportive
i wonder what could be discovered?

i know there is something more to sex than generally gets to be done with it
i mean
straight sex can make babies!
it can also start wars! (see the greeks)
gay sex is generally called "recreational"
which i think of as "re-creation-al"
and know that
if the energy was kept in a family
and not scattered out all over the place
it'd be like a cauldron
and we'd be able to super-charge eachother with love/cum

in the crazy world we live in
i come up with crazy solutions:

We Will Fuck in a Better Future for us ALL!

have you ever been to a Faery Gathering?

you (two) should do that in place of a bear run once, to see how you jive with it

the closest one is Breitenbush in Feburary (during IBR) or August
a hot springs resort
only a few hours away

the one in Tennessee is pretty fucking fascintating, though
because there are women and children there
and it's been in place almost 30 years
and is jointed with over 5000acres of land owned by gay men in the area


(no subject) - (Anonymous)
[User Picture Icon]
Date:March 5th, 2005 11:03 pm (UTC)



i've known the faeries now since 99
and go through waves of being totally over them
to loving them all

they try too hard
and are incredibly flakey...

but they're also a bunch of amazing people living their dreams in really strange colourful ways

if you've never been to a gathering
i highly recommend that
because it is being in the mass of all that
in the forest
watching it all slide by
and getting caught up in swirls of it...

that's the best part.

Head down to Short Mountain either for Beltane (may 1st -- a week on either side) or the Fall (sometime in October)

absolutely beautiful
much more down-to-earth than Wolf creek
while still being pretty crazy
nice hiking
chilling out
and sex!

And Yeah
everyone needs a daddy sometime
i've been daddy for lots of friends throught my life
and i'm fine with that
and i certainly enjoy having a daddy from time to time...

i'll be your daddy, boy...

though i was just explaining this morning how being around someone bigger and older than you automatically helps people slip into the diminutive
which allows a lot of us guys that are often holding things together
to release and allow ourselves to be nurtured...

do you have any friends that are bigger daddies than you that cuddle and protect you?


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