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February 23rd, 2005

out of league @ 06:09 pm

Current Music: Speed Trials-Elliott Smith-Either/Or

i feel like i should write more context
but just this thought:

i've gathered so much mysticsm in my travels and imaginings
that i have put myself out of people's touch


my high standards of dreaming
makes it hard for me to be held by those with simpler dreams...

this is the way it's always been?

where are my peers?

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Date:February 24th, 2005 02:36 am (UTC)
maybe you don't always need more context? this post is easy to touch.
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Date:February 24th, 2005 03:07 am (UTC)
If I have understood what you mean - my experience is that at a certain point you feel this, but eventually you come around to a place where it's OK. You can have fellow-travellers but you don't have peers, but that's alright. Everyone has a unique point of view and really that's as it should be.
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Date:February 24th, 2005 03:57 am (UTC)
I'd like to think my standards of dreaming are fairly high as well...
but then, I have nothing to base that on.
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Date:February 25th, 2005 02:50 am (UTC)
what do you mean
"i have nothing to base that on"

there isn't a national average or anything

what makes you say they are "high"
if you feel you have no awareness of them?

what people say of you?

i dunno.
i THINK you do

but i've never met you
and i've only seen you slightly
but you reach out
and you reach up

i respect that.
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Date:February 24th, 2005 05:19 am (UTC)

once an English teacher......

Dark, marvelous, and inscrutable he moved on
Till down the fiery distance he was gone,
If he go on too far to find a grave,
Mostly alone he goes.

Edwin Arlington Robinson “The Man Against the Sky”
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Date:February 24th, 2005 06:55 am (UTC)
Cozy wrappings? aren't they?

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Date:February 24th, 2005 08:12 am (UTC)
Yeah, of course
it's a slew of distance-creating mechanisms...
but now that they are in place...
or have they always been?
that's the trick
if they are part of my Ego...
they have some use for my expression here, yes?

i think the story, the awareness
just wants me to find different ways to be in public

re-working boundaries.
Date:February 24th, 2005 08:53 pm (UTC)
where are my peers?

Sometimes right in front of you, sometimes people with "lower standards of dreaming". Often those that make you feel impatient and those who you feel ahead of. They're like a rake in a grassy field. One misstep with them and it's mind under matter, the rake handle in the face. I believe some call that enlightenment.
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Date:February 25th, 2005 02:48 am (UTC)
in conversation
less than an hour ago
i was trying to say something
[like this]
and it all came out jumbled:

these sketches, these notes are ways to understand things
attempts: that's what my journal is for

i was saying something like:
" i have a hard time learning from people who play the role of teachers... i learn much better from people that are crazy un-conscious humans who are just living... yet i don't like being that way myself... to respect myself i like to be full of intention and awareness... i want my conscoiusness to be as big as the sky..."

as opposed to
"i want a bmw"

little dreams fall to the side quickly
no matter how much work goes into them

old buddhist shit, ya know

satisfy a million desires or just one.

but you're right...
enlightenment is awareness of the total situation
as humans

it's about being limited here.

we're all peers

razing everything to simplicity like that doesn't help either
coz that's not real either.

i dunno
i'm just bopping along
maybe it'll all come clear in my last breath.
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Date:February 25th, 2005 03:25 am (UTC)

We are all your peers

but that which we share varies; in full context, it's kin to a field trip with many small children and few parentel gaurdians- they are kept very busy kieeping up with their charges

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