so i talk with people, right?
i imagine plans
i cancel them
i sit in the house and dream
desperately graple to ground and make something happen
fighting the great nothing flow of california
from the city, he calls
he'll rent a car and drive up and pick me up and take me down
simple as that
be here soon
if he can
i sit in the chair and look out the window and wonder...
it's been colder today
the wind blowing...
well, if he's going to put the energy into it...
but i STILL don't know if i can make the flower business work
if i WANT to put that much energy into it...
that much energy to live in SF
which just WON'T be healthy for me...
and then there's the OTHER city
i return a phone call
the monster Aries
how long were we on the phone?
within an hour he's detailed a plan of driving out here from NEW YORK
just driving out here
how i have to get him a driver to drive with him from craiglist or... elsewhere...
pick me up
all my stuff
and drive me back to NYC
it's all just rolling
"i'll drive out there and pick you up: tomorrow"
what a rush!
i guess if i deal with anything
they want me to leave the hermitage
it's time for living
this is insane!
i'm staying right here!
but what for?
there's nothing to stay here for
if i listen to my desires
i'd much rather be in NYC than SF
i don't LIKE SF
i don't really like California
there's nothing better
but it's so Breezy...
i need something more meaty
my fucking wandering and blathering...
no wonder god is laughing at me
he's confused with all my mixed messages
just what will make this little prince happy?
i'm not sure
but i'm pretty certain i need to walk there on my own two feet.