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December 5th, 2011

grand fathers @ 02:08 am

why shouldn't I kiss him?
his wrinkly face...
I love him
he's part of me
made the way for me
greater than I
in experience and size
the weight of the world
gathered around his heavy thighs

but when he smiles
he's known far more sorrows and joys
that laugh is resigned
but also deeper than any boy's

he sees in me
so many of the dreams of his youth
what he coulda been
and the flickering of his imagining
the lives of so many others he's loved
dreamed of
the beauties on the street
in pages
in classes and jobs
the friends he's fallen in love with
carried off into fantasies
maybe
maybe with me...

love and imagination
hope and expectation

to see me be something great before his eyes finally close
and all that I might do
long after those

what is it I do for him?
give him inspiration to keep up the work
in the obviously setting sun?
help him lay down his tools and come to rest?
someone to inspire him to top his best?
to make one more great success for a new one who could appreciate it differently than the rest?

it goes far beyond the physical
but why wouldn't I kiss him?
lay naked in bed with him and hold him?
remind him
it's not beauty he's lost
just youth
my eyes not tricked by that
my heart still enflamed

many mistake worth
with prettiness
many mistake beauty
for youth
but would you want to taste an apple before it's ripened?

I prefer maduros
sweet and plump
yes
my love isn't all about devouring
but embodying his whole life
as much as I can fit into
not just getting caught in his crotch
but feeling his full heart
his heavy shoulders
his broad chest
and weary legs
wiggling into his fingers and toes
dropping down
into his balls
but not living
in just any one part

can we every fully embody another?
can there be a perfect fit?
should we wait for that?

what's more important in a partner?
one I want to look at all the time?
one I can have constant conversation?
(with comfortable knowing silence)
one I can always feel desire for/with?

the hot hot sex?
the making love?
the magical rituals of being
union
exploration
re-creation

what?
must they be separate?

why not?

I have lovers everywhere
I love him to look at
them
I love him to lay with
hear stories of living
him to be excited about music
and the architecture of the universe
yes, music of the spheres
him to share the drama with
the art of story telling
the others telling
him to listen to my stories
him to eat food with
to be someone to cook for
someone to make clothes for
someone to get dressed for

why just one?

rest in peace
knowing I'm loved by all of them
family

Sons
Brothers
Fathers
Grand Fathers
and The Great

a world of men learning to be in love with each other
hold eachother's hands crossing the street
shoulders in toil
testicals in desire
- to give... recieve... validate... dominate...
learn to respect and reflect each other
resonate in sympathy
nourish eachother to divinity
support eachother into deepest rest
share in the widest joy
and the most arduous suffering


these dreams of mine are so simple and clear
now
if only they could be so clear
always
when I'm waking...


.
:.:
 
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