oh... it's about the company! (regaining my composure) my drive was to be part of a team! this show is such a slick machine! I was annoyed that the humor of the big boss was sissiness... but I guess it worked perfectly and I shouldn't take it personally. D.R. pulled off the whole show without a slip-up, but slid into his natural accent (if maybe a bit accentuated) to sell his blue bow-tie for broadway cares... opened at $50 and he split it, one from act one and that one from act two, ummmhmmm, at $1250 each! go back stage and have them signed.
but I wonder at my skill, talent, and connections... as I always have my doubts... hovering between fantasy and drive...
what if I took classes every day of the week! Tap Dancing! Piano! Smiling! Guitar!
Singing! Acrobatics! Languages! Fashion!
oh... to look sweet...
I'm sure I've ruined my potential of the public eye...
I mean, I've been too public my whole life: I cannot be a part of this machine
I've never been able to follow the cogs
even when I wanted to
what is the success of the odd?
I'm no longer... 20? 10?
late late late!
"by the gates of old Poughkeepsie my love swam with me"
and crazy for love
but I don't even know what to say anymore
and am uncertain I can carry the message
again, I recounted my duties, my virtues
to see it, learn to feel it
and repeat it
in the process
I may find a song worth singing
but till then
I'm just observing