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July 4th, 2011

33.30 @ 01:05 am

have you ever been afraid to relax
because you might fall apart?
that's how I'm feeling

I tested positive for Lyme's Disease... a few weeks ago! I've been taking antibiotics that have made me nauseous and flushed... but I've been doing OK
I've also been sleep deprived for days and days
I woke up today at 7:20
went to the beach
swam in the ocean
sat under an umbrella, kinda sulky I couldn't enjoy laying in the sun because of the photosensitivity from the antibiotics
still got a bit of a sunburn
came back and napped for three hours
then went out to a party
beautiful house
magical garden
sweet older gay men
I felt right at home and just wanted to live here

old dreams...

but I ate too much and feel exhausted and achey
too much food or sun?

ah, zo


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