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February 27th, 2011

The Soul of One @ 04:15 am

so
I was at this Clergy Conference with Leo a few days ago
all of them Of The Cloth
Episcopalian
so all genders
but that means they all assumed I was too
and easily the youngest there
and all my oddities
and the brightness of my beings

we walked into a meditation
some British lady speaking in second person trying to make us understand what it was like to be Jesus
but I'm not Jewish living in Emperial Rome (any more)
I'm not any religion
I don't feel I'm being specifically persecuted
yada yada yada
I tried to listen
but her assured poignance and my compkete lack of connection made me have to leave

I walked in the beautiful hills
along a creek
breathing in the damp
the moss
the sound of the water
I was filled with Life
as I experience god
God. not as a Him or an It
but just Life
nature is my favourite flavour
but it's all it
I walked back in to check on Leo
it was social hour now
all the chairs were taken
Leo was holding his court
I fetched him some water
and I drank
and drank some more

then it started
the clergy finding occasion to talk with me
me hair in my eyes
big boots
herringbone workmans' cover-alls
black fashion jacket

"where are you out of?"

but I wasn't angry then
I almost blushed
and tried to explain

I was just here helping a friend
-pause-
I know, when I went to church
the priests would take every opportunity to tell me they thought I should be a priest
and every elder woman in my family the same
but I just never felt the call from inside myself
never thought it was something I should do
he looked me in the eyes directly
good
being present the best a stranger can
and said "well you have the soul of one"

a woman later
at our dinner table
the same lead up and string out
I unfurled differently
saying
"many people in my social circle find Christianity offensive... all of the message in it can't get to them... and I understand it. the message is beyond language and Christianity isn't the right language for me... but I have cone to understand it... so I feel part of my role is to be able to bring that message to a myriad of people in ways they can hear it. it is needed... and I am grateful to be able to make it heard."


.iP
 
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