narrowed? @ 02:35 am
how do we Americans use this word wrong? is not what you are is narrowed against America? closing your heart to it?
I once used to say I never got bored
except by other people
and if I stayed with them anyway
with awareness of that boredom (boring, like a drill through my skull or heart) I got frustrated: knowing my ability to free myself but not acting in that way for some other reason: to support the person.. or garner respect from them. frustrated with the knowledge I could end my suffering
if I stayed like that for any length of time I tended to get angry
which tended to make mr stupid
and forget that I had the ability to walk away and entertain myself in a more pleasurable way
I'd usually get so stupid i'd try and change the person who was boring me
which was the stupidest of all
then we'd probably fight
until one of us left.
is the answer, then, to open more?
turn the other cheek? or ear?
hear more? compassion more? vision more? interest in whatever was so boring anyway? let it lap like a wave... fall like the rain... open to what is...
does that quell Anger?
what else, then... what else is anger?