32.20 @ 12:57 am
"and if the whole world is crashing down..."
(a continuation of an inner dialogue I was having yesterday)
I wonder if it's as simple as being intimidated
can I reduce the whole thing to Fear?
Mr Rose told me he was clear that the fear surrounds him now
when once it did not
his appeal to a return to youth (he did not state; I heard)
the place before fear reigned
I said to Mr Doubt tgat it was the American Trick
to turn everything into something to fear
fucking cut it down with a sword
Machete through the Jungle
the natural world (=something to be afraid of, the big black man in the shadows, the boogie man under the bed)
Is it simple intimidation?
I am attracted to (the form of) Power
and kinked on being less-than in action of deigning to be imbued with
not afraid of criticism or abuse
what makes me impotent in the face of beauty and intelligence?
I told Mr Rose "I'm not intimidated by you" and came four times
I pushed around the icons of my understanding and tried to get a perspective on his intelligence
a being who is being
more than directed to result
so I perceive
is he more in the moment
nothing to fear of a man who is present
(fore he cannot reach around time and space and put fingers in my past or my future to catch me up in my present)
the world creators
scary the reality sculptors
(no resolution yet)
here we are
dying ov liver cancer dear?
or do you want to know me when I'm forty?
I cannot help but challenge you
"I've got my own world to live through"
"and if the whole world is crashing down
fall through space..."