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Vertical Prose


June 17th, 2010

32.15 @ 12:44 am




another scene from an imaginary film

and what I learned today was
I should wear more clothes that sparkle
preferably with tights
also, I should twirl when I walk
often

I should follow my habit of always ordering what on the menu draws my
attention
that I have never heard of
it's perfect

when encountering a sinkhole of emotion need of a person
I should state clearly my limits
no need to be mean
nor euphemistic
some people it is right to say No to

perhaps, though, I often put myself in situations that I did not
consciously design
and I try them out for a while
sometimes longer than I should
when I know it's no good
but sometimes
more often more recently
I am clear I don't need any more of that in my life
easy to turn off a person
though some I used to wish I could help
I get a glimpse of that now
but have cone to believe there are people that never get better
most of us don't
we just are who we are
what we are
do what we do
accepting that with any interraction
me and you

any one I ever get the feeling I want to change any more I test to see
if I can let that go
or generally give them up

should I be more tenacious?
at this point I think not
though I am young
and not so cut and dry
there are many people I just try and learn new terms to deal with
people that are worth it some how
and I understand they are doing the work they can do

and often
we are trying something
that never works
no matter how hard we want it
we try the same way to get it
over and over
with never a different result
because it will never work
though we try

to make a reality made one way be one that's another
with out dismantling and reconstruction it will just never work
oh sure
there can be destruction
but even that will not achieve the desire
but destroy the context

which either forces the manifestation of an ideal context (or a quick
fix to keep it going a little longer)
or the destruction of the desiring body... or desired object...
forcing a new manifestation
or freeing from the impossible struggle

impossible hunger is a good motivator for life
yeah
but I don't want That to be my sustaining metabolism
I want happy consumption, colaboration, intercourse, creation. I'm
fine with the struggle, I like to work for it (so I say)

do I need someone to make the context for me?

I'd like to do that for myself as well, please.






"incision", The Artist is Absent. Ulay/Ambramović

.iP

 
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