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April 11th, 2010

Final Plea @ 01:26 am




well, these things happen
I've made wishes my whole life that have evaporated with a sigh
but this one was different

I walked outside and everyone was gone
well, the stuff of them

there was blood and parts
but it all looked like it happened a while ago
old scabs flaking off
a wound I forgot where from

there are fires still burning somewhere
my imagination could go there
but I can't risk that luxury right now
I get the point
the lesson
what thoughts in my head
evil magicks I play with
what simple dreams kids come up with
endlessly wishing for it all to go away

I should have known...

I did know

my rate of manifestation was getting so close to present
I was seeing cause and effect clearly
it was working for little desires
it was working with all my messey emotional baggage
that was backlashing against all my pure desires
poisoning all my attempts at loving
just like I've been doing my whole life
but in thought only, then
in the quietude of my lonely room

now the entire city is razed

this one...

maybe the entire world...

how much did my mind slip?
and how do I undo it?

I've learned, of course
rather, I know
there is no UnDoing
no Reverse
just movement

Order is a delicate structure
tenuously grown over
... Time

I became so obsessed with control
I overstepped my bounds
I knew where I wasn't supposed to go
but it was my passion
not the great saviour
but the destroyer

can I somehow swirl all of this up and make sone useful pâté of it?

I certainly can't will everything back into motion
bring everyone back into the living...

...

after quite a few hours I've realized everything is fine
I've hurt no one
destroyed nothing

I just broke off
all my channeled energy creating a paralell reality for me to have
lucky mee
where the moss grows free
the wind pulls the buildings down

fine
have it, son
we don't need you here
but everyone gets what they need
happy birthday to you

I walked around the streets of what I used to know
and realize this is all useless to me know

I'm leaving it behind
heading off now to be one with the forest
more food
more fodder
no eyes needed in the realm of just being

if anyone does find this after making their own break
remember to make better seeds of yourself

we don't need anymore loving
that rends us limb from limb

.iP

 
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