woke up pissy and groggy
and with a sex date with a guy I like
but don't like having sex with

it seemed like a chore
I faked an orgasm
and felt stupidly out of place
litterally walked out on him while he was complaining about his life

another email
another call
lonely old men
my flavour
but sex feels like an obligation
not a joy
and I've been planning a period of celibacy
I think I'm stepping into it early

meanwhile
I was walking on the promenade
beautifully sunny day
I called a friend who was feeling equally shitty
and we met in the court house square
and wandered around lost and confused for a while

but friends have a miraculous ability to pull eachother out of dark
holes sometimes
and we found ourselves on a ferry to Govener's Island
walking
talking
back to manhattan
empanadas
Taking Woodstock
(inspiring as it needed to be)
then drinks at the Phoenix
with an excellent DJ sparking the night

love
transformation

gratitude for all the beautiful surprises

(more pics at my flickr)