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December 10th, 2004

german farmers @ 12:28 am

oh, one more thing to say

did i say this before?

[...checking...]

kinda
i'll go into it a bit more.

When i was Europe in 2002
the sex was pretty amazing
like a more ideal version of what i experienced in the bath house in portland in 1999
so so so easy to have sex
right?
where is the love?

A guy i had met in the bars and had long conversations with
but no sex
he was a Witch by the name of Joe
always in full biker leathers
long hair, trimmed beard
great mind and pretty good heart

when i came back to amsterdam after travelling round europe for most of the year
he introduced me to his friends at his going away party (moving back to Germany)
as
"the light in the darkness of gay culture"

which i thought was sweet
flattering
i blushed
and felt bad at having givin up loving
(don't worry folks, he always come back for more)

i only fell in love Twice in Europe
and both times were with German Farmers.

One was Bavarian
he'd sent me emails for a few years, i think, before i ever met him
and all the pictures he'd shown me were Black and White

when he walked up to me on the street in Cologne during Carnival and said
"everyone's in costume... but i bet you dress like this all the time"
i didn't recognize him
coz he had the brightest red of perfect mustache
bright eyes
i was kinda speechless
and then he introduced himself

it was months later before i lay down in bed with him
and our sex... our love making
was just rolling around on top of eachother
kissing
Frottage, as it's called
but so into eachother
oh, some sucking cock
but mostly just mouth
so deep
hearts pounding together
the most precious thing
besides his beautiful body
was his smell
his flavour...

He grew up on a farm
and ran away shortly after his mother died at the age of 15

when he left the farm
he was shocked by the world...
He had never Bough Food nor Clothing
and he found the Clothing and the Food both Terrible
food had no flavour
clothes had no life
everything dead.

he got involved in some company
put on suits
moved up the ranks
made lots of money
and got sick of it during his saturn return
and basically has worked as little as possible since
but living in cities:
it's too hard to be a farmer and be gay
and he doesn't want to give up loving men...
so he works out
coz only when he's using his body
is he happy

Yes
and he uses his body
and he buys organic
and his body smells clean
musky
masculine
manly
what can you say?
the pure heat and health of a man
so hot
i melted
my heart broke with him Daily
"oh, dominic, i can't do this.. i don't want to lose my boyfriend..."
he was a Taurus, like Leo, and their boy friends both had the same name

every day he'd break it off
and every night we'd be in love


it was love
it was such love
my body loved his body
the fit
the heat
the taste...

like the swiss-german farmer i met outside of Berne

He came in to meet me at a sauna
he spoke nearly no english
and i spoke even closer to no swiss-german

but upon seeing eachother
grins spread across our faces
and lit up the room
we gravitated and crashed together with glee
and spent a few hours in and out of eachother
ravenously, playfully, seriously, lovingly
the feelings were total
my dreams soared with going to live and work on his farm

a few days later
using language translators and a java chat program
he explained that he had a wife
and i could not go visit him on his farm

the only reason he had a city life at all
was that he was a part-time elevator repair man...



this guy who came last night
he was of Prussian decent
grew up in south Dakota
his father was a farmer
his whole family, back in deutschland
were farmers

'do you work out'
-he laughs

his body so taught and strong
again
the taste and smell
his balls smelled like musk
not cheese or crotch rot or piss
his skin tasted devine
the sweat
the sweet pheramones lightning down my tongue

i grabbed his huge shoulders in my hands and massaged him
i places my arms around his sturdy frame a thousand different ways
we lay together and breathed
rising and falling with eachother

we synched
we fit together so well

he stuttered out his appreciation
his body speaking more fluently to me
"it's so nice to find someone who likes to do this"

a few different positions in the night
i thought, before and after sleep, of the conversations where i was glad to have his as a friend
and would invite him up here time after time
and look forward to seeing him every week

but in the morning
he was out like a shot
with only half-hearted explinations
"cell phone's dead... gotta feed the dogs.. laundry.."

"i haven't slept that good in a long time..."

he turned
and looked at me
"you look so cute wraped up like that..."

smile on his face made of earth

turned
grabbed his bag
and walked out the door
shutting it snug behind him


broken
searing
grateful
to do it again
another time.
 
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