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January 28th, 2004

here we are @ 01:10 pm

i am keeping the nucular family up to date with my mother's and mine adventures

this is the first email i sent them
just now

it's for you too:


So
today was the first time we saw João de Deus

honestly
i've just thought the whole thing was a fuckin racket

i've been keeping it to myself
only slightly expressing it to mom
coz i don't want to burst her bubble, ya know

she's so excited about everything

but there were a bunch ov americans here when we first arrived
all singing "michael row your boat ashore" and "kumbayah"

i'm serious!

so last night i chose to skip the shit
and go for a walk
because it, momentarily, stopped raining

mom came with me
we walked through the hills
ohmygod
it's so beautiful

the red land
the termite hills
all the wild flowers
and the variations on daturas and mushrooms
this place is crazy
walking on beds of calcite
and dirt that looke like fine red/purple hair...
it's really amazing

because it is the rainy season
everything is alive
lush
green

so gorgeous

and even up here in the wilds of brazil
we had two feral dogs walking along with us
jumping on us
playing with us
mom was amazed that she travelled this far and still didn't get a rest from dogs..


we had a great time
and then went down to the Casa to see if we could catch the end of the America Show
it ends with blessings
and we made it just in time
when the priest blessed mom
he whiped her chest and told her she would breath easier
( i had been pushing her up and down the hills
she had to stop a lot to catch her breath... but by the time we got to the church her breathing had normalized: psychic/god/healing? )

last night we went to Anapolis to see a medium-painter
he channels spirits for each individual who asks for a painting
and, basically, paints a picture of a flower

he does it all with only his hands
and in about a minute

it was intense

in about an hour he painted 35 paintings

the ones for mother's friend Kathy was most spectacular
and Kari's was beautiful as well..

well, they all were

we were very chuffed
then ate fresh guavas off a tree

mom and i haven't been sleeping well

we stay up late talking

like louis and i used to in the bunk beds

in the silence and darkness
one of us will say something
which will lead to a conversation
and then an hour later
we're saying "goodnight" again
... til we speak, again.

so mom woke up this morning at 6 to prepare for her
Crystal Light Bath
(shakes head...)

i got one too...

some wierd machine with 7 chrystals suspented on rods shooting coloured light into the body

yeah, i could feel it, so could mom... but so hokey..

i mean, it feels like this place is the 70's all over again...

so we're all dressed in white

the casa is crammed with people
80% european/american WHITEs
they are all talking and moving about
i am getting really pissed off

i have been angry most of the time i've been here, actually

the casa is a Jesuit chappel
and i just don't get into Ignacious that much
but
there we are

there is a video playing of João's miracle operations
and i am getting more and more angry
they all look so FAKE
how can people buy this shit?

but
here they are
300 people +
crammed into this little church thing
and saying Our Father and Hail Mary in whatever languages they speak
and we're standing in line holding little tickets
and i am fuming

we are all seperate in line so that Josie can translate what João says to us
which is good, coz i can't stand near mom without us talking all the time...

the more angry i get
the more sad i get
coz i lack faith
and i want to be healed
i guess
there are people in wheelchairs
blind people
deformed people
but the majority of people are spiritual tourist
and i wish it were focused
they people who work there have to keep comming out and trying to focus the crowd to get them to shut up and pray
all the chatter
people making stupid comments

i close my eyes and start praying.

i pray for all ov you
and i mean my family

but i also mean my whole family:
everyone i have ever touched
all my lovers
all the people who i can't talk to anymore
my dead friends
the whole world

it works

there is SO much energy here
if i close my eyes and get into prayer/meditation
it pulls me right along
but all the NOISE....
if i open my eyes i get angry all over again

but this time i glance at the TV monitor
and see João doing an opperation on some guy's eye
and there is NO way that could be fake
that's crazy

i shut up and close my eyes again and pray

and our line is moving now
i have been staning here for two hours
and i am in the first current room
and i am up above the earth
moving out in all directions
oh-o-o
(grin)

i was right there with it and i was

i walk up to João
and he extends his hand
i take it
and he says something to Josie
and sends me on

she says
"the entity needs you to come back this afternoon to see another entity, right now he wants you to go sit in the current"

so i did

and everything melted
and everything opened
and everything cleared and healed

oh, it is real

i forgot

and all the things i have been holding on to and forgeting and confusing
pass out
clear through

and i am everywhere
and i am everything
and
yeah
finally
i feel like i'm back

(laughs)

where the hell have i been?

it seems like only moments
but it was nearly an hour
and the session finishes for the day
everyone is floating on clouds
and i meet mom outside
she needs to a surgery this afternoon
she's scared
i can't talk yet
i do yoga

and it's a beautiful day

then the rain came
and we had our Açai pudding and juice and yogurt
and met a beautiful guy from NYC painting amazing pictures
and everyone is amazing
and i am kissing them on the head
and i've got a while to wait til the right entity will see me

i didn't have time to write last night
but i do now

.. so i thought i'd let you know what's going on

(wink)

i'll tell you when i know

...dominic
 
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