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January 10th, 2009

talking with leo... @ 06:39 pm

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Date:January 17th, 2009 04:57 am (UTC)

Just read your updated entries

Hi,Dominic -
Jim from Lincoln, NE here. Just read your most recent entries. I can empathize with you about the dad thing. Of course, I've communicated some of my history in that area to you before. It wasn't until I was 57 that I had a fairly permanent relationship/boyfriend/lover. Prior to that, I managed pretty well alone with a wide circle of good friends and tricks. The only times I ever really felt I wanted/needed someone was when I'd walk or drive home after a really successful concert I'd conducted and arrive to an empty apartment, needing someone with whom to share that. At the end of my career, my boyfriend was very good about that - especially coming to my church services (and he was Roman Catholic while I played/conducted at a very liberal Congregational/UCC church). He also joined my sister and my friend of longest standing (lives in NYC, have known her since first grade in Ohio) at my farewell celebration at the church and to hear me give the Baccalaureate address (which the kids had invited me to do) the following evening at the school where I taught. Now that I'm out here and he's stayed back East (VT to Whitehall, NY), I feel that lonliness again, now that I'm retired. I'm not sure just how good a partner I'd be nor the degree of success I could maintain a relationship now. Don't ask too much of the young man who idolizes you. And bask in the warmth of your friendship with Leo. And remember, too, the joy, warmth, and love you've brought to so many guys whom you've befriended, attended to professionally and enlivened with your unique personality and philosophy. They revel in the attention and respect you offer them. You share your gift of humanity with unqualified generosity.

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