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November 27th, 2004

our various parts @ 11:27 pm

i'm always surprised at just how much acting is involved in every day life...
for me
of course
Every Life
is a very strange reality for many people

but in my Life

i'm often surprised
the roles we play for eachother

and maybe
it's just because i so often deal with gay men

and maybe
it's because i so often deal with gay men who have such similar lives to me

feel right into my desires
-- it's Men in LA who often pick up on just what it is i want
they sing me my own songs of desires
weaving the mystery and magic i often dream of
and how could they know?

it's always the men on the west coast
the little boys who ran off to live their dreams
and never came back

i spent a few hours today looking through Escort ads on line
-- there's a guy i had seen in a porn flick a few years ago... when i started watching porn again ( stopped after the age of 14 )
i found him today
(i'd had... Leads... for weeks.. but today... he came my way)
and there were pages of reviews of his performances
people stating how much they were... convinced
and how happy they were to pay

the idea of being an escort becomes more and more attractive
what more satisfying a role to play?

to Really get inside the audiance...

enough of all this distance.

it's not good enough to be a teacher
or a waiter
or a television personality

i want to taste the sweat off the flesh of the exhausted and pleased
i want to feel the sudders of bliss
of fantasies fulfiled...

perhaps i want to drink the syrum of these fantasies:
reading these reports
i realized
i never have such well-thought-out scripts

no matter what can be said of my luscivious ways
i never work from scripts
i just go into it
seeing what we can make together...

isn't that was making... love
is about?

getting in there together
becomming the ripplying of the milyway in the infinite night sky
becomming the magestic beast of prey
being hunted by an even more magestic bird of prey
talking to someone
"you know, when you just wanted to crawl inside someone? putting your entire body into them"

they stared at me blankly

fine, not the lover for me

but i knew what i meant.
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[User Picture Icon]
Date:November 29th, 2004 02:29 am (UTC)
really nice rambling read
have you ever waltzed in australia my darlin?
[User Picture Icon]
Date:November 29th, 2004 06:10 am (UTC)
thank you BimmelHimmel
i have not yet waltzed matilda down there
nope nope nope

south africa. south america. not yet that free-standing southern island.

but i will

have you ever wandered around this place?

i'll give your ramble a read in the morn; i'm off to bed

and where did you find me?
i see you read BUTT...
[User Picture Icon]
Date:November 29th, 2004 06:30 am (UTC)

when south meets south

i found you through naylandblake which i found thru aa bronson, all of which i guess i found through Butt and the like. amazing the things you can find about the north people through such publications...that reach this southern island
and now this new 'era' of blogs which is even more fabb!
since i have not rambled up that way (except for paris&london)
though i have a boy from san jose calif. staying at the moment. very sweet.
the sight of your beard took me back to the tuft i was cultivating all winter....
[User Picture Icon]
Date:November 29th, 2004 06:55 am (UTC)

Re: when south meets south

San Jose is not too far away...
but i'm always on the move

nice to know you read BUTT
the curiosity, of course
is coz
i'm in the next issue
coming out in January

this beard, by the way, was inspired by an israeli boy i met in the mountains of Italy...
i've always wanted a long beard
but reseved the idea for getting Old. Wise...
when i see long beards
i always think
Philosopher. Mystic. Composer, etc..
but seeing this beautiful boy with shining eyes and full beard
prompted me to just let mine grow
and i've only snipped a few split-ends since then (back in 2002)

everyone's is different
and i certainly hope that in another forty year's time
it will be down to my balls

only time will tell...

now i'm really off to bed

Good night!
[User Picture Icon]
Date:November 30th, 2004 12:00 am (UTC)

Re: when south meets south

oh cool! I haven't got the latest Butt yet. I just realised a friend of mine is in one issue, sucking a boy's toes on a velvet couch. Look forward to your centrefold or whatever.
Yes beards certainly carry with them a mantle, whether it be as you say sage, mystic, or even crazy kook down the street.
I had to shave mine off when I was feeling not up to the mantle. Boys with long beards though....magnifique!

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