and maybe it was 7 when i first found my dad's stack of Playboy magazines hidden under his hunting gear catalogues
and maybe it was 8 when i first felt the joys of my own naked body
and around then i wore my sister's make-up
but i was at least 10 before i was naked with someone else
and it was playing video games with Jason
in the trailer-park-type "sub-division" thing called "Horse-shoe Drive" (coz it was just a U-shaped road)
we'd nuzzle under a comforter in the closet
where he had his Nintendo set up on a lower shelf
under the cover
we took our pants off
and played the game
and let our butts and thighs touch
jumping into focus on only on the game when his mother or step day (or just mom's new boy friend?) would "check in" on us
was it also that year i did a similar thing in down town Zionsville with Geoff and his brother?
was it that summer or the next (it must have been 11)
when we had to drain the pond and i had a birthday party where we all ended up naked and covered in mud
and i saw a foreskin for the first time on a friend of mine born with a Naturopathic Doctor for a father
i remember saying "what happened? your dick looks like it got mutilated..."
"no", he said, "your dick got mutilated"
Yeah. 11. it was 11 when i finally came for the first time (alone)
at this point in my life
my best friend was this kid named "Ted"
i'd already know him a few years
but this was the pinnacle of our friendship
we'd have sleep-overs all the time
his place or mine
but i don't think he ever came over before we moved into the New House
two more memories from the old house:
one long summer vacation in Michigan
we came back to the house
-- did i mention my mother always had cats?
and the neighbors had been feeding and watering them, the cats
but not aware of the flea problem
the fleas were out of control
we walked into the house
all of us started wailing in pain
running around to grab a few things
and i THINK we spent that night and the next in a hotel
while we flea-dipped the cats
and bug-bombed the house:
i remember leaving the house that first night: blood running down our legs
covered with fleas.
we got lots of snow
a huge 12 foot drift against the shed
we dug out a cave
and had adventures in there
freezing rains swept through
so fierce it coated the beautiful white birch in front of the house
it bent over in a "U" shape and blocked our front door
it stayed that way for two weeks
glistening with a coating of ice
like candy. . .
when it thawed
it was fine: stood right back up
-- i got "my own" stray cat
we called him "gold kitty"
and he showed affection by biting you
biting me, sorry
thank you Gold Kitty
i love you too.
When Ted started coming over to the new house
the first cool thing we did
was decide we were Pagans
-- he wasn't really brought up religious
and his parents JUST got divorced the first year we were friends
we had a rich imaginary life
-- we were wizards
but now we were pagans
we knew we needed to find our own god
we went out into the field behind the house
and found one of those big sink holes
we put a long board over it
and walked out to the shaky middle of it
bouncing up and down calling "Death!"
our new god was named Death
and he was teaching us telekenisis and mental telepathy
we would go out into the barn and burn candles and make offerings of the mice from the traps
... and we'd play a lot of video games
and dance to Right Said Fred
and Paula Abul (that was my first concert: i went to with him)
then he showed me Miami Spice (2)
which he stole from his older brother
it was fascinating
we'd just sit there and stare at it
while the muscled hairy guy with the mustache was laying naked on the sun chair (in LA)
some big haired blond cop would jump the wall and put his semi-erect cock in handcuffs
he said "you can't keep me here, as soon as i get soft i can just slip out and i'll be free"
she responded "who said i was going to let you get soft?"
and hilarity ensued!
near the end of that year
i convinced him to let me take it home with me
and in the privacy of my own TV
which was in the "rec room" or "play room" as i mostly called it
where i had so often worshiped at the Nintendo
i started mimicking that movement of pulling the dick
until i felt the most awful horrible cramping pulling at me
some strange smell and taste ripping through my senses
and being covered with such thick sticky whiteness
i ran to the toilet to get gobs and gobs of paper to wipe it up and flush it
a new fascination was born.