dominicvineoftheowls (dominicvine) wrote,

Voice Post: Culpability

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“Culpability. Ahhghh. He wrote a scenario in which he was including himself amongst all the sad homosexuals which he felt compassion for, because he himself was one of them...self hatred, sick, ill at ease, not fitting into the world, wrong, damned, doomed, pathetic, desperate...and doing all the terribly dumb, desperate, pathetic, needy things that ignorant, unconscious, empty, unenlightened people do. Although, to be able to write so well about it, he had perspective enough to know that he really wasn't a part of it, which is another reason he felt so much shame. And perhaps, he wrote that scenario so that he could feel a part of them, sharing its shame at least. But most of them are probably unaware of their shame, unaware of their shame with the acuteness that he's aware of his. The point is...when I told him my theory on culpability, self responsibility, the blame we all have for creating our lives, otherwise pronounced as that New Age bullshit of manifesting our own destiny he responded almost like he'd been slapped...didn't want to talk about it, avoided it pretty quickly and said "no, no, no, no...I don't...I don't think, I don't believe in that, I don't think that's true."

From a Catholic point of view, can I write a textbook called "Culpability?" All the things that are wrong in your life are your fault? And these are the things you do that make them miserable...that make the misery happen, to generate the shame and fear and sadness and longing? Who the fuck would buy that book?”

Transcribed by: astromante

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