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November 7th, 2007

disillusion @ 03:53 am

people use the term "disillusioned" in a negative context
"i used to really love him, but after i saw how he behaved at that party i'm completely disillusioned and gave him back his varsity jacket"
"i really thought Bush was going to get in there and liberate those terrible muslims so we could get cheaper oil... but at about year 5 in the war i became disillusioned with the whole thing... do you think our next president will be able to secure the health and welfare of my Hummer?"

however, most people use many words incorrectly

When someone is disillusioned of you
it is a good thing
because they weren't seeing you
they were seeing a fantasy
and they were believing that fantasy
and living with it
when they become disillusioned
something has happened that has broken that fantasy

it's nice to believe that you had something to do with this occurrence
many illusioned people will never really see you anyway
so who knows if you did or not?

it's nice to believe that that person now sees you for who you really are
past their illusions
to the truth of your being
but that is also hopeful

the point i am making is
if someone tells you they are disillusioned of/with you
do not be saddened nor disappointed
sure, it might suck that a game you've been playing has come to an end
and you may have to face something you've been able to get away with or slide by
on account of an apparition guarding you from sight
but on the bright side
you don't have to play that role, which wasn't you anyway, anymore
and you can relax a bit
and be closer to being yourself

in fact
with others become disillusioned about you
it gives you a chance to be less illusioned with yourself as well
and more in integrity

here's for good luck in our next attempt!
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[User Picture Icon]
Date:November 7th, 2007 10:03 am (UTC)
Well said. Thank you.

This is what I less eloquently call bubble making.
I have always celebrated the breaking of others' bubbles as they involve me.
[User Picture Icon]
Date:November 7th, 2007 10:15 am (UTC)
Boy, you really targeted me tonite!

All of my life, most people I meet have some sort of disillusional idea in their head that I'm conventional when it comes to sex.

I tell them: "Look, I'm a gay longhaired biker. There's maybe 50 people on the face of the planet who look like me. If I'm that unique externally, why do you think I'm somehow not unique in bed?"

(Interesting to note that the a portion of the video you linked gives me a boner)

[User Picture Icon]
Date:November 7th, 2007 08:15 pm (UTC)
(Interesting to note that the a portion of the video you linked gives me a boner)

Lemme guess, you have a Denver™ Boot fetish?
[User Picture Icon]
Date:November 7th, 2007 09:06 pm (UTC)
Oh come now!
there are far more than 50 people who "LOOK like" you on the face of the planet
(you do live deep in the woods, don't you?)
and a large percent of the people who look like us are fine with fucking men in the butt
yes, indeed, though
there are a small amount of those who look like us who identify as "gay" and "biker"
- i've still never piloted a motorcycle... but i've ridden around many bikes!

i just finished Edmund White's autobiography and the last line of it is:
"Being predictable is the one unforgivable sin in a friend."

most people are just boring.

but WHAT in that video gave you a boner?
are you hot to be the top or the bottom in that scene?
carrying people around nyc...
[User Picture Icon]
Date:November 8th, 2007 07:19 am (UTC)
Oh sure, there's alot of longhaired bikers, but they're mostly straight. I happen to be one of the few gay ones on this planet.

Anything wet gives me a boner, and I'm primarily a top, though I go both ways.
(no subject) - (Anonymous)
[User Picture Icon]
Date:November 7th, 2007 09:07 pm (UTC)

Re: Your post

i had a big chubby bear friend over last night
that came up in conversation and he said
"now you need to write that and send it to me in an email"

[User Picture Icon]
Date:November 8th, 2007 03:59 am (UTC)
Well said. I never do understand the illusions people have of me and have paid some sad prices for the pedestals I havent put myself on
[User Picture Icon]
Date:November 17th, 2007 05:53 pm (UTC)
it is a excellent point, and one that can be applied to other words, since meaning is more often assumed than examined.

dominic, this is nayland's friend dl. i never got a chance to really thank you for your help in september. not only did the streamers look great, but having you there made the work that much more enjoyable. you even managed to get my often high-strung gallerist to chill out. here's an e-hug from berlin. you're a wonder and a good soul.
[User Picture Icon]
Date:November 20th, 2007 05:06 am (UTC)
Hey DL

thanks for saying so
i wish i could have been at the opening
if i hadn't have had plans already...

but i hope the show, and the rest of your stay in NY was good for you

i look forward to seeing you in Berlin..

whenever it is i get back out there.

i had a good time putting up the streamers with you
and still think of the visual affect...

i stopped back in a few weeks ago to see if they were still up..

but the next show was already going..

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