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September 11th, 2007

"i want your energy" @ 01:39 am

Current Music: "come to daddy" - aphex twin

last month
some kid i've known for a while
sent me a slew of text messages
starting with
"can you come over soon? i'm feeling really worn out and need some dominic energy"

which kinda creeped me out

over the next few days
he sent me many
trying different angles to get me to his apartment

in the past
he'd used Lunch very often
"i'll buy you lunch"
"i'll make you lunch"
"i've got a phone i can give you"
"i know many people, i can hook you up"

this time
"there's this hot arabic guy, just your type, stocky and hairy, we could have a hot three way"

i felt like he was a desperate vampire wanting to feed off my life

he acted like a junky when i didn't come to his beckoning
and started ranting at me

case closed.

a few weeks ago
i met this big round beast of a bear at bruin buddies
and we've met up a few times since then

today i moved into the house-sit in greenwich village
-- i'm a one minute walk from this guy

so he called me
and i went up to his place
(after having bought some vegetarian thai soup -- i'm coming off my fast... this is my first "food")

we sat and talked for a while
in his cluttered, scattered, hurricane victim of an apartment
his iTunes on shuffle
as he smoked cigarettes
ground fine weed
rolled it up
smoked it
smoked it
smoked it

told me his foot was in pain

in his character of a bear
his white underwear under his huge belly rounding
semi-circle under the line of his white t-shirt insufficient from the bulge

just as i was about to leave
he asked me to come to the couch
i told him i felt a bit ill from eating
and he said to just sit down a minute

then he put my hand on his foot and said
"i just want your energy. i want your hand on my foot. i want your energy there"

just like that.

i like that New Yorkers are honest
but honest in vampirism?

i was a bit freaked out
especially because i wasn't feeling well
(still recovering..)

i harnessed some eternal energy
attuned some reiki
and put my hand there

he came really quick
and i pulled his energy into his foot
shot it back through is body
and let it roll in waves through the both of us
... for a half hour


people often say
"you've got great energy"

the guy i fucked last friday
great sex
lots of fun
he was completely blown away
saying i was a wizard

indeed: we had an excellent connection

and Jorge said he felt me immedately
the first time i put my mouth on his cock

'i could tell you wanted my creative energy... and i wanted your energy... so it was an even exchange and i was happy to give myself to you for you..."

so long as things are balanced... somehow.

i guess things are always balanced, right?

the world is very out of balance in many ways
so i do need to be wary.

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[User Picture Icon]
Date:September 11th, 2007 06:04 am (UTC)
What I've learned about quite a few men (even LJers) is that they only care about themselves. You or me could be dying, and they'll be blogging about their latest acquisition.

Nice new icon, by the way...
[User Picture Icon]
Date:September 11th, 2007 06:12 am (UTC)
i made it last year in Berlin...
you can look through all of my icons, you know
sometimes i make a lot of them.

so ... your reply..
i'm not entirely sure what you're saying..

most of my journal is just talking about myself
i'm generally doing it in terms of relating to other people
but not about them or for them

so which camp do i fall into in your estimation?

i'm not writing about my new ipod or iphone or whatever
but i'm almost always blogging about my mind/heart

[User Picture Icon]
Date:September 11th, 2007 06:20 am (UTC)
I'm not putting you in either camp, since we're just getting to know each other.

All I know is, whenever I see all that hair it makes my hormones go crazy.
[User Picture Icon]
Date:September 11th, 2007 07:36 am (UTC)

energy wiki

Of course there is a wiki on the subject;
and the AM radio show
where George Noory interviewed

Apparently there are good 'energy' vampires, as well
as the expected bad ones.
[User Picture Icon]
Date:September 11th, 2007 07:47 am (UTC)
I think there's got to be a sharing of energy, doesn't have to be sexual, but when you open your heart with someone and they do the same, the mutual energy is what makes the connection real. I've spent 40 years now and only opened up that way with a few people. I'm trying hard to fix that problem.

I think people see that you open up honestly and it feeds their need without them sharing any of themselves with you.
[User Picture Icon]
Date:September 12th, 2007 02:53 pm (UTC)
I would second the idea that situations are best when there is a sharing of energy. One sided connections arn't healthy in my opinion unless they are with children, (kinda describes the dynamic of parenting most days) If it is very short term, limited and consensual, then I can see doing that on occasion sometimes. Say an hour of giving and then a nice solid disconnect.

None of us need people that are energetic parasites in our lives.
I'm enjoying reading you, thanks for friending me.
[User Picture Icon]
Date:September 14th, 2007 08:19 pm (UTC)
i love sharing my energy
and i love being open

i just find it fucking astounding that people think they can just have my energy

it's very similar to my nudity
i love walking around naked
and that means, to many people, that i want to fuck them
or that i'm showing off, being a flirt, or teasing them

which is all their shit
because i'm just being naked.

the rest is read in.

it's not going to make me close down permanently
just sometimes...

i think i just posted this so people might read it and be slightly more aware of it.
[User Picture Icon]
Date:September 14th, 2007 08:45 pm (UTC)
It's a very Zen thing to try to avoid telling ourselves stories about any situation. But, what people are doing are interpreting your actions through their mind's filters. Of course, that doesn't mesh with your intentions or what you're "really" doing.

Meditate, meditate, mediate, and then meditate some more. That's my answer to a lot of people's crap, but you can't make people meditate.
Date:September 12th, 2007 03:51 pm (UTC)
You do have a very powerful energy and it is both an aphrodisiac, and feels somewhat supernatural. It is a curse or a priveledge that you get to bear (lol)Don't be too harsh on your fans/victims as they are simply under your spell!! Besides you make sex into an art form and you make the participants feel like they are with a picasso :).

[User Picture Icon]
Date:September 18th, 2007 01:29 am (UTC)

I protect my energy

I have many that want to leech off of me. I don't like being a human duracell battery. I agree with Dom it has to be mutual.

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