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July 25th, 2007

slump @ 04:34 pm

this is a little catch-up post

my plans involved coming to NYC and getting an apartment
then taking many steps from there

square one has not been covered

i've been here nearly a month and a half
and things are not opening up
PLUS, my first two weeks here were incredibly painful and disturbing
-- it was mercury retrograde
so i just took it in stride
but now i'm viewing it more as a definitive " you're not supposed to be here "

living in NYC makes me tired and a bit cranky
but it also makes me grateful for all the people, music and art
all the Happening
all the Life

and i know i could make it work..

i still very much feel i would like to live here
but (grrrrrr)

i have been trying to get grounded now for years
and felt that if i didn't succeed by the time my saturn return was over
then i would have just missed that opportunity
well, that was the 23rd
and i'm not nested
so i feel like i was dangling on a hook
and have now been sent back to the wind
instead of reeled in

per my plan earlier this year
i was going to give it a month here
then go to Portland Oregon
to spend a month in that city again
and see how i felt there
Would I want to Live there again?

my major trepidation about that right now is from my getting back in touch with an old friend
who appears to be a huge vortex right now
and i worry that if i went there
i might just get sucked into that
(for we are old friends and her current energy is reminiscent of my manic days)

so i would like to spend a year here instead
coz i know i can have better boundaries here

just to hammer out some of my work

Time Frames!

the other direction, of course
is just to pick one of the places i want to live
{Amsterdam, Berlin, Istanbul, Sheffield, somewhere in Spain, Swizerland, or Cusco Peru}
and just GO
live off my savings
and see if i can find a way to make it work
teaching english
or getting some sort of job to survive

just go to Thai land like another friend suggested
live on a beach for a few months for a total of $100
and walk around Anchor Wat

all that stuff

settle down
or keep traveling?

settle on some temporary nest
(like tenneessee)
and keep on my way?


i don't need to be famous anyway
but i would like to get some work done
that i'd like to do

now now now!

i could just do it know, i suppose
if i didn't feel so worried about what next...


i'm here in NYC
i'm working at the Floating Pool at the Brooklyn Park Beach
thursday to sunday, 2 to 9pm
stop by
come to the gallery my art is at tomorrow night
207 Broome street (at lafayette) suite 7A
for the closing cocktail party

when anything feels definite
i'll write about it

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Date:July 26th, 2007 08:33 am (UTC)


sounds like your "plans" are like Midwestern weather, if you don't like the weather, stick around, it will change.
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Date:July 26th, 2007 06:14 pm (UTC)

Re: plans?

i've never been good with plans
but i feel it's important to make them

so when people talk about the future
i can participate
though i don't really believe it

when i first started traveling
this was frustrating for me
because i would be annoyed that i had to make plans
and they never worked as i planned them

yet amazing and wonderful things happened
it wasn't what i wanted or expected
but how could i complain?

so i came to accept that

the trouble is
when i get fixated on a "plan"
and lose track of what my actual opportunities are
Date:July 26th, 2007 11:24 am (UTC)

Angkor Wat is in Cambodia

And will cost hella more than $100 to live there for a couple of months.
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Date:July 26th, 2007 06:11 pm (UTC)

Re: Angkor Wat is in Cambodia

i am aware of that

i was rambling about thoughts
not giving all of the details:

there is a friend who wants me to go to Thailand with him
rent a house on the beach for 40$ a month for a few months
then got to Cambodia
and work our way west
back into India

Date:August 1st, 2007 05:59 am (UTC)


Thai customs may REQUIRE you to show a plane ticket for 1 month after you arrive, they (the new military government) is really pissed at people who stay longer than their visas - also they are looking at "long hair" and other "signs" that this person may not have money, financial profiling. They are not entirely stupid, Americans (that they think have money) are less harassed. An expat I know who has been in Thailand since the 70s, actually had to marry his Thai wife.

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