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March 25th, 2007

someone asked for help @ 08:54 pm

Message from ------- to you
Sent 20 hr ago
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I have to tell you... I am truly hurt and need some help. i am out of a relationghip after 13yrs. Since i have beenoout basicallly. I suferd a lot of abuse. Most recetently a knife attack. We have been separated for 18 months now and we still are in contac. I do not know why i am telling you this but a i am at my wits end. I feel so poorly about myself and therapy is not working for aover a year now. I am supposed to take a pill each day but feel i have a bad auroa around me.

Do you have any suggestions?

I am sorry for bothering you but need to try something different.


Hey Guy
what's your name?

thank you for asking..

it's complex
the whole situation is a culmination of Your Life
(and possibly even stuff before hand)

if you want the pain to stop

here what i recommend

Don't take the pills
(especially if they are making you feel bad)

be conscious of what you're doing, though, to avoid your emotions
(smoking, drinking, masturbating, whatever)
that doesn't mean stop doing them
but notice WHY you do them
that will lead you back to your emotions over and over

find a way to sit with your feelings

Writing is the way i do it
but also being alone in a forest

you might go to the beach

stare at the sea
stare at the sky
(looking at nature helps more than looking at man-made things)

look outside
and feel what's going on inside

be honest with yourself
and go into all the pain

feel it
and forgive it

it's all about being honest with what's going on
(and though it's easy to blame people. it's useless... do your best to take responsiblity for your life... for everything that's happening... forgive the people that have hurt you... but it's more important to forgive yourself for letting yourself be hurt... for putting yourself in a situation to be hurt... for asking the other person to hurt you... may sound insane... but a lot of modern life is)

walk a lot
breathe fresh air

these are things i do that help clear my mind
clear my heart
and move on.

i've had a few lovers in a similar situation to you
and i know from trying and failing
that no one can really help you:
you have to do it yourself

with love and support!


ps: oh, you're sexy too
maybe i'll meet you and we'll have hot passionate sex sometime
make love

but it will be a while
i'm spending some time here nourishing myself

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Date:April 10th, 2007 01:04 pm (UTC)
Well written. I think you did a good job with him.

Although there can be joy in life, -pain- is an absolute certainty. When pain and suffering come up, they are not to be avoided! The animal in question has to face the pain, and realize that it isn't abnormal to feel pain. It is abnormal NOT to feel pain.

Face the trouble; breathe through it. Sit willingly in the fire.

Your new friend is finding out the true nature of existence on this planet. I'm glad he chose to write to you.
Date:April 10th, 2007 03:26 pm (UTC)
Don't take the pills
(especially if they are making you feel bad)

Oy. Do you really want to get between him and his doctor? There are a number of situations where giving this advice could screw up his life in a big way.
Date:April 10th, 2007 04:53 pm (UTC)
I should also mention that I really liked everything else about what you wrote. While driving to work I was reflecting on the positive/negative balance of things in my writing and worrying that things are coming out too negative.

But seeing this right on the heels of our other discussion, it really stuck out, and it really bothered me. Medical care is a serious matter, and I've learned the hard way to not second-guess doctors or even try to influence their judgment, except in specific cases where that second-guessing involves enormous amounts of work and thought.

Reading your journal is difficult sometimes, because you're moving in spaces where some things are tremendously right and some things are gravely wrong. I worry that you're getting ensnared by toxic hippies, which is a bad place to be. Having Bill in my life, who is a People's Temple survivor/escapee, I'm often reminded of the dark side of counterculture. And I'm much less patient about the rejection of mainstream medical advice after watching Rick die. If he'd not been caught up in the mythologies of "alternative" medicine, he'd probably still be alive today.

Please, just so I can sleep at night - think carefully about what you are doing before advising troubled young men to stop taking their pills.

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