June 20th, 2012



... I didn't take Facebook at all seriously for the first two years I was on it... I'm still pretty loose with it and think of it as this era's "AOL" (this too shall pass)... so I've got 1700 "friends"... many of whom I do not know at all. I occasionally look through the newsfeed.l. but not often.
however... a few weeks ago I saw some guy post about how he met some guy "with zero help from the Internet" and fell in love a year ago and with the greatest man EVER!
which I thought was a sweet way of celebrating the anniversary... I'm so reticent to believe in romantic "love" but it made me feel I should be less cynical of it...
I don't really know the fellow...
but I saw a post from him today (he posts a lot) saying how he's just gone through a terrible break-up and is so grateful for his mom and friends for helping him through it.
OH... greatest man ever broke up with you on your anniversary?

yeah, that's what I thought. oh well.

the universe will support you on whatever idea you hold as true, I know..
it takes a while to weed out these echos and reflections...

it's worth it to believe in love
I'm sure

to sculpt a vision
hold it precious

we'll try that
as the route of keeping love at assistance isn't too pleasing






then find something useful to do
when appointments
let down

be active
scrape up the feeling of obligation
surf that artificial motivation

alien with friends
as are they are
go for a walk
feel the trees greet you
the air here
moist and cool
the wood chi tendrils brushing the skin and hair
and walk
you know the way
through this deep dark forest
through this beautiful park
its wild animals
and shadows
these people are your people
these views are your kingdom
we're all here together
we know the way
and forgive our tragedies
feel grateful for our quiet depression
over the tales of passionate
and destructive ones

hear from friends
even reach out to some
receiving manic bliss
ebbing life wanness
and reveling in the failures of past friends

I told him
one of the reasons I'm isolating myself
I'm being a real bitch
so I'm keeping to myself
keeping my hands busy
and urging them to move to actions of creation
over killing time
or spreading discord

but I do not have control
only sway. . .