June 16th, 2012



"like that time I was in a car with Dave and we ended up in Canada. . . " - overheard from passerby

four bands played
outside in the
little strip of grass
under a tree
massage stepping on each other


bending over backwards
with the tree
and on each other

watching the sun
set against the stars
and each other

of Montreal
were fucking beautiful
as they do
we danced
and were generally mirthful

yay, thanks for a good day


good weather
in my head

strangely threw my back out
(never done that before... now i know what everyone means when they say that)

set an alarm this morning
yeah, woke up when it was still morning
easily sleep deprived
but onward!
cleaning house
doing laundry

is that how i did it?

i was shrunk
and the conclusion of today is
my idea of my life is becoming closer to the actuality of my life
and, boy-o-boy-o am i learning to be vulnerable.


revsiting everone's favourite magical herb today
i can't say it's a bad thing
but will i tomorrow
if i don't have another?

but i know me: i will.
(i've got work to do)

glad to run into P.Christ
who i'd not seen in a very long time
we exchanged our troubles
like trading cards
showing our
"well, my life is like your life: this is how mine has been suffering. this is how mine. just like that!"
eating pizza
ice cream

my body agreed

and Jorge
i had a genuinely good time with him
good show, chap


the ride home i felt a bit mischievous
but only after i felt a fool

(Drunk!Girls! had to pee... i offered them the water mudra... they did not deign to notice my existence. stupid boy was pretending his android had an app that played sound effects like running water.. so i turned on my "white noise" app on my iphone to the "running water sound" -- i felt like an antagonistic little kid / brother .. so stopped)

got home
went out to the sidewalk
the last two spaces had trees planted in them today

a good day to do things
so i went out there and sewed my seeds
the one that came in the mail
Obedient Dragon Heads
Love In A Mist
and some others

fingers in the dirt
sprinkling water

perhaps too late in the season

where is the moon today?

all is well
but it's 4:30 again
like last night

i'm more tired though
and will sleep again
and will wake to my alarm again

i mustn't let myself lose the morning entire again

must keep dialing it back
dialing it back...




just one more thing to do
before I..

.. I'm almost ready to start.

Just One More Thing To Do.
I've got to. . .

I'm almost ready to..

just a few more minutes
a few more things to do
then I'll

I've got to do this
then I'll. . .

I'm almost ready to

ready to start

I'm Ready To Start!

just one more thing. . .


it's easier
you know
to be positive in the face of someone who is dying and complaining about life

much easier
sharp contrast
obvious example
of un enjoyable living

it's simple
sometimes he's the critical one
negative, always No and Can't Be Done

but when he's not
that's what I'm doing
or how taken
and when I hear myself
it sounds like it

but I don't know

what I want
what to do
what's going on
how to do it
how to start

I don't know

but it's nice
just to be loved
just to be close
just to watch the sunset
the rest of my desires are echoes of habits

"let's go together!
let's do it together!