July 29th, 2010



you know
when the elevator door opens
and you expect a bloody dead body in there
falling out
or blocking the buttons...
just something else to deal with


someone to love (me)

what does that mean?
when I see his name
my heart aches
because he's someone who can take my shit
tells me to shut up
says all I want is to be annihilated
and he will teach me

and I yearn...

but I don't think that's really love
I think it's just the familiar taste of my wound
my fall-back kink

and even if I ever got it
for real
and all
it wouldn't really help
how could it?
I have to take the next breath anyway
I have to keep my heart beating

for myself
I yearn...