my father is color blind (and left handed, but i always think of that) my mother got him a sweater: rust and musty green "what color is this?"
apparently i alway wore many layers of clothes -- i don't remember this but in the last few weeks as new york has got cold i have been putting on layers and layers...
the day before i left: two pairs of pants six layers on top
when i arrived they all told a story, laughing of when we were at Red Lobsters some waitress poured the pitcher of ice water on me (it was my birthday: i loved PopCorn Shrimp) i just stood up and took off my outer layer of clothing: everyone stared in amazement
something about something my mother left her medication at home for her hypo-thyroid issue i said she could do shoulder stands to increase her thyroid activity - - - something something and mentioned how we'd always do head-stands with my mother what? my mother taught us how to do head stands we'd do head stands all the time with my mother she'd do head stands when she got head-aches she even did headstands when she was pregnant with my sister
head stands i love them yoga when i first learned it i did them all the time and have been doing them a lot lately. . .
the night we arrived up here dad parked the car then immediately got on a phone call while my sister and mother and i unpacked the car into the cabin they were both seething in frustration that he wasn't helping us
when he got off the phone he started shoveling the front porch area.... even though it was obvious he'd paid someone to do that before we arrived he was somehow futzing with the details
while we finished unloading the car
that's fine he'd just driven up from indiana, then from detroit that's alright he could have just said "give me a rest, would you please unpack he car" we might have been pissy, but not in passive aggressive ways...
who was it? some one was just telling me that Men always feel like they need to be in control and so many Wives have learned that if they take their own personal power the men get all threatened and freak out so the women, when they want something done, have to act passive aggressively so the men get to say "See what i did for you, Honey? what a great idea i had!" and she gets to seethe silently... even though she got what she wants.
a million ways cowardice or just being polite mother fucker..
i turned on the wi-fi on my phone and saw the network but it was locked
i asked dad what the password was and he said "there isn't one" i tried it without a password, it didn't work i said "there is: it's asking me for one, what is it?" he said "there isn't: i'm sure: there isn't one"
so, Ok.
he went off to play with the snow blower didn't ask for help just walked off while we arrived into the house -- i called my brother and he told me where i could find the password it was a long hex key and seeing that my father figured there wasn't a password i just went into the router and turned the WEP off: why would we need it in the middle of the forest? and i'm sure, once the other relatives arrived, they would have laptops too why bother with all these silly passwords? i just turned it off.
mom warmed up some soup or something we were sitting around eating dad came in and opened his laptop not speaking to us i was fiddling with my iPhone he said "you got it to work, yeah?" i kinda laughed and said "yeah: no problem" he grumbled and said " now i can't get on line... " i told him to just re-select the network and it would be fine silence for a bit i could see he was having trouble so i told him what i did and why... before i could tell him he just needed to turn off his wi-fi and turn it back on he exploded at me: screaming at me about how i fucked it up and how it all worked fine and i broke it i explained i did it because he thought there wasn't a password anyway, so i figured he wanted it like that and it would. . . he said he didn't want to hear it and i reminded him he was barking he exploded louder i reminded him i was right there and started mocking him that he obviously didn't care enough to pay attention to what i was saying, so why was he talking to me? and that if he would be quiet and listen to me i would explain why he didn't need to be angry but he was upset i had fiddled with his network without asking -- fair: i should have asked but him exploding and screaming at me would not make the situation any better my mother came up and screamed at him for screaming at me i told her to get out of it: don't take it on it's not yours my father told me to get out of here and leave he called me selfish i told him i learned it from my daddy he screamed at my mother, telling her to tell me to stop bothering him he was screaming at the top of his lungs "i just want some peace!" my sister and mother were at the point of tears and i told them to get out of it: it's not for them they stormed off downstairs i sat quietly while he fiddled with his computer trying to get it to work he yelled at me a few more times so i went downstairs and told my Women-folk that he's like a dog: if you let him get away with that shit he'll just continue to do so and it makes me feel so terrible that i just won't let him get away with it
-- they bitched about him for a while -- they live with him, it's understandable he came down and yelled at me a few more times we flipped through the TV channels (after i figured out how to use the DVD player, but he didn't want us using it without him so we wouldn't "mess it up" -- control freak ) we watched the last hour or so of "Christmas Vacation" which my sister had been searching for the DVD before we left the house: here it was on TV eventually my dad got on line and chilled out and didn't talk about it but came down stairs and watched the next movie with us: Meet the Parents
i hate TV movies are alright but i mostly hate comedies too.
we went to sleep in a cloud that night and the next day there was a lot of silence but i did my best to push through it ... my sister felt he was most angry at her.. and, of course: he needs someone on his side and no one seems to be fulfilling that role with any fidelity.
