December 9th, 2008


hey, how have you been doing?

oh, pretty well
i'm sorry i've not talked with you much lately
... i was having dinner with a friend last night and made some comment to him about how grateful i was for him listening to me
"what, now that even my journal isn't talking to me anymore"

some really wonderful creative experiences have been presenting themselves lately
various photo shoots
some art project, some paying magazine thing... and a friend's music video
plus, i'm going to be doing a performance piece on the 17th at a gallery in soho
it's all very exciting

of course
i had a house guest this weekend i wasn't expecting
it made it hard to get to sleep
not like i need any help with that
-- last night he gave me some HIV meds as recreational drugs
(interesting experience, but i was shitting all day)
and the night before he participated in making my crumbling relationship with my b___ friend even more tenuous by giving me a reason to be even more angry with him
... when i was describing that relationship to my friend last night over dinner
his face looked horrified at some of the things i said

i, being a bit of a monster, spent another hour on the phone giving my brother advice to learn how to love the un-lovable (my father)
he telling me how horrified his wife is in interacting with my dad: she's never met such a horrible person in her whole life
.. i tried to convince him there were 150,000,000 men like him in america
(i should know, i've had sex with nearly all of them)

oh, and yesterday, just before the photoshoot started
my kitchen collapsed
all of my corning wear
and half of my vintage fiesta wear
came crashing to the ground
glass shards everywhere
blood running down my legs

a great way to start a photoshoot, though
blood is so beautiful

just finished cleaning the kitchen and am heading to sleep now
gotta be up early for the shoot out in brooklyn tomorrow

thanks for checking in, journal

i'll try to be a better friend.



I know there are many stages to living
One stairway
One landing


This one is this
This one that

You must live through this to become that

You can do it together or alone

You can do it in divinity or eternity

You can do it in pieces
Or whole