i remember very little from my childhood
and as far as i can remember
nothing from being a baby

i think my parents had it changed as i grew older
but i remember the carpet when i was very young
was a mottled orange/red/brown shag
-- it looked like vomit
i noticed once, when i was sick with the flu
that it blended in perfectly

there were plates hanging on the wall
above the toaster
i don't remember what they were
collectable something

there was dark wood paneling, i think
a large sliding glass/screen door lead to the back yard

a large "master bedroom" for my parents at the back of the house
ours across the hall

ah, i remember one thing
-- i hated being in a crib
the cold isolation
the bars
the endless black to stare into
though there was a mobile over it the light would catch
... and i will always remember the car lights driving across the walls and ceiling
(we were close to the road)
but that happened every night
and i've always been the sort to lie in the dark a while
before finding sleep

(i just wrote out a long blather, then cut it, here's the short part i like)

i had reason to be over on York Avenue today
really far east around 60th street
i intended to walk down through the beautiful sunny day to 53rd,
across to get the E to the A home
crossing under the bridge
i was
all of a sudden
on Sutton Place
and there were beautiful old buildings

does anyone know the history of this?

i was a bit mesmerized
thinking of how most of manhattan used to look like that
(and around grammercy park...)

i instantly wanted to know someone who lived in these houses
to go up into them...

how?

maybe post something on craigslist asking?
but my iPhone wasn't connecting, somehow

i walked down to the bottom (after having explored a few of the parks
at the end of streets)
and saw a triangle park overlooking the FDR and the river
a man sat with his shirt off
i came up to him and sat next to him and said
"what a brilliant idea"
and took mine off as well
i was sure he was gay in an instant
... maybe he lived here?

he lived over between 1st and 2nd avenue
and i quickly forgot to ask him about the history of the area
just commented on his sizeable nipples and how we might enjoy eachother sometime

i was so spaced out from the fasting
i just lay back and enjoyed the sun on my naked torso

i gave him my card
and walked down 53rd

everything is so exciting when i'm fasting
because i can't have any of it
that mexican food
that indian

the little porn store run by two dykes called "Come Again..."

hmmmm

when i got home
the computer wasn't here yet
the internet was still down
i was infuriated and made a bunch of phone calls

i got the internet company to reset my modem
and it seems to be working now (i'd done plenty of hard-rests myself)
and i got the cards saying i could pick up the computer tomorrow at
the post office

Phew

i think i'm going cook some congee tomorrow morning too
it's time to get back to food.