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big lake @ 03:52 pm

another tedious conversation
monologue
listening to the old man..

i wish they'd come soon so i could leave

he just rattles on
rattles on non-sense

"i should like to go shopping...
i should like to go to a department store...
... a shoe store...
... a book store...
... a cigar store...

i should like to see how much is this
how much is this?
do you have it in white? black? red? green? yellow?
do you have something larger? smaller?
could i try this on?

this is too expensive!

sale! bargin sale!

i like this one!
may i try this one on?

sale... bargin sale

.. it does not fit!

i shall take it with me
-- send it to the hotel

how much is the postage?
can you direct me to the post office?
where can i get some stamps?
what is the local postage here?
what is the local postage?
what is the Air mail postage to the u.s.a?
...to the U.S.A.
i want to send this package
i want it insured
i want it insured!

here is my address
here is the address."



the woman who is often around here says all of these things used to mean something
but it sounds so desperate when he says it
babble

she tells me there used to be endless houses filled with things that people could come and take..
just come and take...

all sorts of things
things to put in your mouth
things to put on your feet, head... all over your body
through your body

she said you had to give all your time to other people in other houses (often very big ones... i can't understand the concept of how large these houses are... she tells me there were a hundred houses stacked on top of eachother... everywhere... why so many? were there so many people? she says there must have been)
and these people in these houses would give you tickets to get these things from these other people in other houses

then you'd just throw them away
and go get more

it sounds so stupid
and this old man is obviously crazy

and what is the "you ess aye"?

i wish they'd come so i could leave

it's raining
and i like the feel of the mud on my feet





(quoted text taken from "big lake" by Corey Dargel... see it here: http://www.automaticheartbreak.com/videos.html )
 

(talk about) Pop Music @ 11:33 pm

Current Music: Thriller - Michael Jackson

so, the night before i left town
i'd been painting the golden moldings in my apartment for hours
and was asphyxiating from the fumes

Jorge and i went out for a walk
i forced him a rushed way

being a total control freak
and feeling on edge

all the stuff i wanted to do
not enough time

and TIRED!
(and high from pain fumes)

we went to eat at Albert's Mofongo House on Dykeman street
and had some beer
which
all in all
fresh air and food and beer
i was much more relaxed on the walk back...

which is beautiful:
we can walk through the bottom part of Tryon Park
green and lush and woodsy

people in the park..
those Latins... they're always Loitering..
being people in public!

Jorge started singing "Thriller"
and it lead into some frank and vulgar conversation
where my teen-age voice spoke up and talked about
meaningless pop music

he said
"what do you mean by 'meaningless'? "

' you know, ' i said, ' all those songs about nothing else but dancing and having a good time '

he replied, " Dancing and having a good time has been a fundamental part of human existance far before society even existed... i'd hardly call that ' Meaningless' "

which struck me:
i've ALWAYS held that viewpoint
and some disdain for music like that
since i've been a conscious adult (like, age 13, you know?)

and this is the FIRST TIME anyone has ever replied like that
which razed all of my crap judgmental emotions
with simple sound logic

Amazingly
Jorge has played me tons of music (he's given me a mix CD almost ever week i've known him)
that i would usually hate or just find dreadful and boring

but i love it

he's an Emissary from the world of Humanity

People Dancing and having a good time
Living


not that he's a big old disco queen
he doesn't go out dancing all the time
but he loves he when he does..

our conversation tested its weight when i looked up the lyrics to "Thriller"
wondering what the fuck that song was about anyway...

and still didn't get it

he said
"it's about duality, what we always want and are afraid of and what we're offering and what we're threatening"
(ok, true, he didn't say it all like that, that's my interpretation)




It destroys the horizon of my tiny little world
to understand that all of the fluff pop i've relegated to "Crap"
also has the voice of eternity in it too


probably even Britteny Spears
and Ignacio Iglacia
and the rest of that producer-driven drivel

doesn't mean i have to listen to it though





such opportunities for an open heart flavoured with love...
 

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