September 9th, 2007


the off Day

The fast was over today...

i was going to do it for two weeks..
but cut it short because i was feeling so fucked up..

not JUST because there were so many things i wanted to eat..

in fact
for the last four or five days
the thought of eating made me cringe...

but i'm often like that in NY

in fact
i got to feeling the way i felt here in 2005
where watching people eat
and every venue i walked by
kinda turned my stomach
... then i started to wither

retreat from life i guess..

and i got sick.

that really surprised me
because i've often started to fast when i had a cold
and it disappeared with no sign in two days or so
so i was very thrown when i got sick this far into the fast...


i had given a few massages early on

i had fucked a few times
and jerked off a few times

and Friday night i met a very sexy man
(who i wanted to meet months ago.. but had no idea how to contact him... he contacted me!)
though i was already on the brink of a cold and exhausted
i fucked him anyway
which was really magical
and i was like a little kid hanging out and talking with him
(he was so hot and smart and interesting... but i felt like a st*r-f*cker talking to him)

that drained me
especially, i think
because he didn't cum with me

so saturday i was pretty fucking tired

a friend had sent me an email about auditioning at the metropolitan opera for Aida
.. i went to it (at 10am!)
with a head shot and resume and everything
and they didn't even look at me twice
i was eliminated and told i could go home
(well, i went through the test like everyone else: March! just to be extras: soldiers)

my friend who told me about it works there
and said i probably wouldn't get picked
but it'd be good for them to have me on file

ok ok

i went back to the house
then down to the lower east side, where i used to live
i had plans to go get a futon frame from Jorge's friend G.
she said it was broken
so she was getting rid of it and having a custom bed frame made for her..

when we went to pick up
i asked her what was broken
and she said it wouldn't fold into a couch anymore..

and demonstrated..

i told her she was lifting the wrong side
and indeed, that's all it was.

Bridget also had a few things to give to me

so J and i got a car service
stopped by Martin's (where i've been staying the last two months)

and took all my stuff from there as well
UP to my new apartment

Jorge was very excited to see it
and i was happy to be there again: it had been a week since i was there last!

now it has some stuff in it...

on Thursday
a girl gave me some good Kombucha culture
(i've been buying the G.T.'s stuff... and it's absolute dead weak shit.. i could never get a culture from it and don't recommend anyone buy it)
as well as some Kerif grains..
never seen those before..

so i started a batch of Kombucha up in my new place
and started the Kefir down here... coz it needs to be minded every day.

saturday really wore me out
we took the bus part of the way down from my place
and Jorge was so excited to see all of the latin shops..
indeed, i was as well: it feels like i'm living in another country!
i think that each time i've been up here..

back at Tony's (the apartment i'm house sitting for in Greenwich village)
we fed Raspberry (the cat)
and went off to get Jorge some food..

by that point i was dead
i couldn't even bear to touch him
all of my person energy was totally sapped
and even connecting with him made me weak

so while he ate
i climbed a tree and meditated..

then told him i needed to sleep alone

we went back to the apartment together though (martin's) and he got his bag and left
i drew up a warm salt bath
that i was in well over an hour

then slept a sweaty fever sleep
waking at six
drinking lots of water
sleeping again..

i was supposed to have a client this morning
but he'd called and cancelled last night!

oh, great!

then i realized i could go to the beach!
i thought the sun would cure me
so i got my things together
and rushed out the door
a cab was coming down 20th street
so i jumped in
asked him to stop while i bought water and juice from the deli
and off we sped!

he was a new driver
didn't know where he was going
and was afraid of driving
so drove very slow and tentative
and got lost
went into brooklyn
and i got so frustrated
coz i missed the ferry

he got stuck in traffic and i threw him ten dollars and got out of the cab

got in the subway and took it to wall street
walked to the pier to see if there would be another ferry today
and the ferry was broken!
so i wouldn't have been able to go anyway

which i guess made me feel better?

i opened my shirt
and sat and read "Time and Time Again" for a while

then got a call from my other prospective client
saying he'd made other plans..

fine.. i'd go feed the cat...
oh, but first!
i'd go to China Town
and get a bamboo strainer for making Kefir (can't use metal, it eats it... and gotta strain the grains out of it each time ya make a batch..)
of course
i spent three or four hours walking around down there
and spent nearly 300 dollars

drank fresh coconut water

got a 90 massage from a chinese lady
it was really good
taught her and her co-worker some of my technique
bought house plant... and kitchen wares... juicer and electric kettle

stood out on canal to get a cab
but none stopped... all full

so took the train
and was
exhausted when i got to Tony's

head pounding
almost faint
i showered
and tried to take a nap

just meditated

then went into the kitchen
to strain the kefir i'd been letting mature
-- thought i'd make cheese out of it, seeing that i couldn't drink it yet..

so i separated the curds from the whey
and seeing that it was cultured whey
i thought i'd drink some..

i was amazed!

just a few sips
and in 15 minutes
my fever was gone
and my lymph and sinuses had drained!

i felt refreshed and energized!

i headed up to times square to work on my morning client, who had rescheduled...
he was staying in Depak Chopra's "Dream" hotel.


that was fun
mostly cuddling and conversation
he's a regular..

big boy..

then i headed back to the sub way..
open entrance
but all the gates locked up..

i noticed that i could reach around and knock open the emergency exit
which people often do during rush hour
and it's so late, who would care when the alarm went off?
i've never seen anyone care before..

so when i went through a gaurd came out and said "oh, you don't need to explain to me, just tell it to the officer"

"sorry" i said

i had an unlimited metrocard
so it's not like i couldn't pay
i just didn't know where the open entrance was
... i guess i was just being punk rock

well, yes
a police offer came up and took my ID and told me that he should take me to jail..
but was giving me a break
and not really writing me up
just gonna do a check on me

ok ok
thank you thank you

i didn't miss a train, though
would have just spent that time waiting

rode down to 23rd street (in one of the new-new cars)
and walked past grammercey park
.. that's been one of my favourite parts of staying in this area..
the crickets were loud...


back here
and i'll sleep soon

cleaning up and moving out tomorrow: Martin returns from Europe

i'll be happy to staying at Tony's... while i get more things for my apartment..