today is my satyrn return

i mapped it out
knew it would be today

listened to all the words uttered...

would i die today?
a car crash?
something that smashed my soul into the dirt?

no: but the barbeque place wasn't open

so i had a lunch of bad food

it didn't matter
because i was with a friend i love
and we had a good time

it's new moon
but i gave a massage anyway
coz it made sense to
and he was very grateful
and appreciative of what i am and what he needed

he filled me with inspiration for the future
and in flashes of power released from his glutes
i wondered if i should go live in Hawaii?

to lay naked in the sun every day..

i could feel the heat in his skin...

but nothing changed today
today was not the day of clarity or calamity

i still dreamed of better places
i still felt guilt from my descisions
i still wanted things that did nothing for me
still suspicous
still longing
still staid

and i'm back at the shop
far too late
i'll get "home" and goat will be asleep
restless
i'll have to sleep in tomorrow
and maybe something will come clear

i can't just sit and wait for this revelation
i have to make it

hew it out

but i just look at the marble
--KnockKnock--
"is anybody in there?"