i keep calling Bridget

"Sheridan"

it's kinda sad
but they're always kinda been sisters to me.

She told me about this great accupuncture she got from these kids at a school
... thought about it..

She was telling me about how she'd been doing the Artist's Way excersises
and how one of them was "write a scenario of a life you didn't live, but what would have happened if you had"

she said she wrote about going to acupuncture school and becoming a TCM doctor...

how different it would be..



i gave her a massage today
three something hours.

it's only the second massage i've given her since i've been here in NYC

in my imagination i thought we'd do a trade every month

oh
those best laid plans

silly mice we are.

it was really intense

she's so thin
and..
she's a girl

i so rarely get to touch girls.

and she's like sheridan
my mother
my sister

i was trying to make us all feel better


she was on the end of her period too
and i kept thinking about how in various tribes (red injuns and jews and africans and aboriginies...)
when women were bleeding
how men couldn't touch them
or how the women themselves couldn't touch sacred instruments
or be at rituals, etc
coz there energy was so strong it'd throw everything off
or something?
what would it to?

i didn't know
i wondered
i wondered what her energy was doing to me
bleeding
with the moon
my hands on her
what was she doing to me?



when i was done
let her go back to her life
let her out of my hands

it occurred to me
that if she had lived a parallel life where she went to TCM school
she'd be Sheridan.

that's how she'd do it

and the bitch would betray me

(oops. anger there)

as we do
as we do..

so many parallel lives
happening all the time

bridget and sheridan are the same
but different

have you ever seen yourself in other people
seen them living the lives you're not?

usually they're not really interesting
you can't have relationships with doppelgangers..
can you?