December 31st, 2005


remember about it

when i'm feeling horny like this
it's not that i want to cum
it's not that i want something in my mouth
the pacifier needs to be in my ass

but i get this feeling most when alone
not when i'm with someone

when i'm with someone
it is Them i want
and i am pacified by their presence
their body against mine is all i need

the sex becomes unnessessary then...
it becomes a luxury
it becomes a gift

this abstract want
yearning in my root
could i satiate it myself?
it is even possible?
perhaps it is the magic that keeps me moving
for a good place to root down
to root in me.
  • Current Music
    trimm tram - blur

last days

"it's a hard parade, just
---- be courageous "

in the last days of the year
i've kept myself busy

a few people have commented in the last few days
wondering where i am
what's going on
why aren't i posting?

everything is fine

even better, really.

i have to say
i feel that everything is coalescing
not to a conclusion
but some sort of arrival

i'm coming.

there's lots of love
yesterday was an entire day of Adoration!
i got photographed by Stanley Stellar

then had a "client" that was just a big ole daddy bear that needed cuddling
-- it shocks me that there are un-married men of 53 who aren't out!
but it was all adoration
then my massage client after was a wonderful artist as well
great energy
... massage is all about adoration anyway

everything must converge...
coming from all sides

a publisher

and together with my friends
a Happy Holiday
and so much healing of my old wounds
redeveloping trust

i've been tired
but ..
the snow flakes were falling in big fluffly clumps today
so beautiful.

and i got an iPod
and everything is Merry

it's the last days of the [arbitrary] year

and i'm going to meet the one i love! so please don't stand in my way
la di da, la di da...
  • Current Music
    backyards - broken social scene