i had a slow morning in cocoa beach with conversations about the future cleansing... eggs... oils... shells
in a spacious way... we made our way to the Greyhound station in Melbourne which had moved to the airport and was about an hour late
down the coast...
i was quite surprised by all the storms thought it was sunny and hot in Melbourne it was only moments down the 95 that the sky was grey and thick and spitting on us...
there was a part of me that wondered about coming to florida in late june... but i figured all those sagely men of the Celebration of Friends should have known what they were doing...
indeed! storm season: it's what makes it a tropical climate... to rain in the summer.
i took a taxi from the bus station to the hotel and arrived exactly the same time as Jim and Gene..
many handsome men by the front door but i walked right by them to be greeted by Jim waiting by the front door on the inside waiting for Gene.
we checked in and i was impressed by Embassy Suites...
i'd not been in one of these since i was... probably... 14
we used to have "rich" relatives visit us ( i later understood it was part of the middle-class ideal to appear "rich" -- none of us actually were ) (barbie-tale-ideals) they would stay at the E.S. in Indianapolis and we would spend as much time there as we could: it seemed so exotic!
this surpassed my childhood memories: it was like a jungle in th ecentre huge ceiling up 12 floors the couryard was a maze of bridges and paths through a jungle waterfalls and rivers
cute
commenced with cuddling hugging Jim and hearing is stories was great lots of laying in bed and talking... i gave him a massage too..
the days passed fluidly...
i wasn't feeling overly sexual it was mostly about watching and wondering i felt like a child also like an exotic fruit many people stared at me wondered...
i had to make introductions mostly but them men mostly responded very favourably when i did...
some big beautiful beards... many men refering to themselves as "santa clause" quite a few of them played Him in the malls of their homes...
Livonia Michigan! yes!
(laughs)
the next morning i went to the Vendor Mall there was a guy from the upper peninsula of michigan who had moved to Australia 40 years ago and now delights in fucking married men and filming it! i had found some of his video's when i was downloading porn a few months ago and when i went to his website i decided to buy his two DVDs but then noticed he'd be coming to the Celebration so wrote him to ask if he'd be selling his wares there he said Yes so i waited to buy them in person..
he was a very friendly fellow so handsome we have the same taste in men, though so i bought his discs so i could enjoy seeing him in his sexual pleasure beauty heat
he gave me a free disc as thanks
Sweet!
Gene had been talking with me about playing with older guys and i told him the story of the herbal erection tea i'd made for Leo He Wanted Some! so we all went out to Whole Foods to buy Yerba Mate Damiana and Oatstraw -- and i showed him how to make it in the coffee maker
then Jim took me to haulover beach layed naked from about 3:30 to 6:30 and went home with a big sexy italian {Sagittarius} guy who i'd talked with on line but now his beard was died in a charcoal fu-man-chu against his natural grey it looked silly but admittedly hot
he took me home and made me Putanesca i tried, but failed, to make garlic mayonaise as i was taught in Brazil we ate cuddled slept
it felt really nice i kept feeling bursts of pleasure which made me want to say "i love you"
but i'm hesitant down here..
he dropped me off at the beach in the morning around 9 on his way to work at the Salon (hmmmm, hairdresser)
and a guy i'd talked with last year said he'd come meet me on the beach so we hung out together
he's from long island originally but used to summer here at the age of 15 he started an affair with a married woman aged around 40 and made a huge scandal she left her husband (a rich doctor) and married him then divorced him so she could still get her alimony benefits though she still lives with him.
a performer, piano player for a while they toured together: he sining.
he's lived here all these years (he's only in his mid 30s now...) and hardly ever comes to the ocean
so we swam and talked
i practiced my skills at underwater blow jobs but it's difficult in the ocean -- all those waves jostling us about and the salt water!
many guys from the Celebration were there and this guy i'd seen around the hotel seen in photos from last year and seemed to recognize was there he bumped into me in the water while i was playing around with my other friend and grabbed my dick with an exagerated cuban surprise... big eyes -- we got eachother going...
ahhhhh Haulover Beach...
the day was lovely my italian friend returned to pick me up around 12:30 and i felt nice and cooked
a few hours later the burn set in which i was surprised by but i guess it's the solstice sun... ouch!
he took me back to the Hotel and i decided to take things easy did a massage any way then hung out with people
after the massage i walked back to the hotel and stopped by a plaza that had the artworks of my italian friend in a Framing shop and noticed an eye-glass shop that had frames i really liked... so i made an appointment for the next morning...
back at the hotel Gene told me about a sex party happening upstairs a guy i knew from NYC was hosting it ( a guy introduced to me by a friend from SF) -- after the massage i sat on the toilet with my cell phone playing Solitaire... i've had a lot of trouble finishing the game lately keep having to fold... -- everything to me can be an oracle and in my mind i strongly felt a voice "fucking is not good for you right now: STOP. don't get fucked and don't fuck other people" i think it's coming up as very important i have to stop by the time Saturn moves into Leo which is July 17th this is a challenge for me but i agreed to it as i did the deck all made sense and i beat the game of solitaire for the first time in days.
OK. clear message.
still at that sex party that night i fucked a guy who i found so CUTE a big polar bear of 73 or so from near Buffalo, NY and got fucked by the hot cuban guy i'd met at the beach (who actually lives in NYC) we was a spectacle the whole party stopped and watched (so i was told by other people... i was too busy to notice)
[ "will i complete the mystery of my flesh?" ]
the next day i walked back over to the plaza and went to my eye appointment rather early in the morning...
i'd been having irritation in my eyes since i had arrived in Orlando and at this point the left one was completely red and swollen and i was a bit worried: was this pink-eye? i was having some crusties...
i'd seen an add on TV while i was staying in Cocoa about a pill you can take to fight "dry-eye" by making your eyes tear more... in the list of side affects i heard them say "we don't know how this can affect people with Herpes in the eye" and i remember being shocked by that: i didn't even know that could happen!
was what was happening to my eye an hypochondriac response to this worry?
the doctor took a look at it and told me we couldn't do the refraction that day my eye was too swollen and it looked Viral... so he gave me some anti-inflamitory drops and a perscription for anti-biotic drops i had to go pick up from the CVS
i felt depressed all of a sudden sad and annoyed angry at Florida for doing this to me
that passed pretty quickly when i got a great Açai smoothie for really cheep right next to the CVS and watched the hunky mexicans doing welding nearby...
then i sauntered back to the Hotel my eyes already feeling better from the drops...
i walked out to the pool area and ran into this guy i'd talked with on line about a year ago who'd driven down from the other shore of FL BIG italian {virgo} bigger by 50 pounds than the other big italian (and there was another Big italian i was flirting with by the pool that Gene had suggested i chase... he had also died his grey beard with a fu-man-chu... who knew?) this guy just got back from NYC where he'd hung out at the Dugout and played the Bear-Super-Star as he'd just been in American Grizzly magazine as a cover star ... he gave me his magazine and i knew every guy in it! i felt like a bear whore...
and spent the next 24 hours with him he was very hot and i got the "i love you" feelings with him as well but, again, didn't vocalize it.
he was very italian in that controlling arrogant kind of way plus he made harsh judgments of everyone -- his virgo was a bit exacerbating
when i came back from his hotel to the host hotel Gene saw his magazine that i had left in the room and immediately hit me up "where is that guy? he's SO HOT!"
yeah we'd done some photo shoots had a good time..
but i felt a bit outside of it...
i've been noticing lately that when i'm getting fucked i have MORE energy than usual and when the cock comes out its a noticeable change in ecstasy i wondered if that's like getting addicted to it? it worries me... i gotta stop and strengthen my root chakra (engaging mulabanda right now...)
the last day of the event i decided to just spend with him cuddling and talking coming to grounding
they both left the hotel at 7am on monday morning
and i went up and knocked on the door of one of the many men that i would have liked to have played with... but hadn't got around to.
he had his part-time-boy-friend sleeping in bed so he said he'd meet me down at my room
what a beautiful good-bye romp!
then my ride arrived:
a guy who had written me through the massage web site and separately... he was very excited to meet me saying he'd read much of my journal -- we had a lot to talk about on the hour+ drive out to Shark Valley Everglades preserve...
we got there about 10am and were ambushed by mosquitos! i was shocked! so much so that i acquiesced to using bug spray which i haven't done in years!
then we began our walk...
it was very reminiscent of the south african Veld... long views that went on forever... the bugs kept us moving but we stopped many times to enjoy the fish and flowers the beautiful birds... and the Gators!
a bunch of babies... protected by their 7 foot mother... (grin)
a 6 foot guy playing in the shallow water about five feet away from me nuzzling the ground rubbing his nose like a playful dog... .. with huge razor sharp claws and teeth..
the loop through the park was 15 miles and he said he had walked it before ... but not this time of years
the bugs and the heat made it very difficult not to mention about 5 miles in i got huge blisters on my heels from my sandals... i took them off and walked barefoot on the grassy shoulder of the path...
the observation tower at 6.5 was beautiful. a cool breeze no bugs we both decided we'd catch the tram back instead of walking the rest of the way: it was another 8 miles and being 1 o'clock it was hot [ashell]
we sat and talked
the phone rang! --- when i returned from Brazil into Miami last year i had most intentions to hang out with this Cuban guy i'd talked with for a year or so but when i arrived i couldn't get him on phone or email
he called the last day i was in town last year appologizing telling me his father had died and he was very sorry.
Ah..
he calls me in the everglade crying flustered tells me he has to miss our date that night: his father has died...
i say ' didn't your father die last year? ' and i had to bite my tongue not to be mean which was true? either of them? grrrrr
whatever
i then got a call from another man who i'd talked with on line since 1997 but had never met.
a few months ago i found him on the net again and saw he had moved down to Lauderdale so was excited to meet him on this trip -- we made a date for that night.
when the tram came they told us we'd have to pay $13.50 to take it back so we had them call the ranger who'd pick us up for free then we walked on continuing the path until he came and drove us back to the lot
we drove directly to the beach! clouds come in waves huge we went swimming -- this guy was a native and hadn't been in the ocean for YEARS!
in the water we met another native who spent a lot of time there and really wanted to fuck me -- i just DOESN'T work in water! we played though all three of us that guy was the only one who came... TWICE! i practiced my underwater BJ and felt like i figured out how to do it he was happy!
while we, all three, held eachother in the huge waves pellicans dove over us -- lots of fish in the water...
it was beautiful and memorable... we stayed a little over an hour and he drove me home.
cooked me dinner and we ate and talked...
it was difficult trying to explain to him the "truth" about me -- i didn't want to be mean or overly judgmental but i tried to his explain that he didn't have anything that attracted me his life was very Spacious and i wondered if it was his work? a financial advisor... always dealing with money i often feel the fallacy of money is you take your vital life energy an transmute it all into cash what use is that? -- trying to explain that he didn't create anything to share.. his house was white: walls, ceiling floor dog just not attracted nothing wrong not for me how to say that without sounding judgmental? even now..
rejection is painful but sometimes necessary.
he drove me up to M's house Hairy Pop a guy i'd talked with for Years...! first time meeting... His Leo energy sucked me in... back from those days when i loved only Leos... he took me in his arms and everything he said sounded like the truth...
"florida is filled with broken people" he didn't say that but it's what i heard -- he made jokes about that's what brought him here..
all of a sudden i was obsessed with diabetes and was explaining to him and my italian friends -- it seems everyone has it! Hydrogenated oils stop you from using insulin! poison! doctors... what do say?
anyway i had two days with him of subtle conversation.. he said so much less than everyone else said it slowly... said it with so much meaning and truth...
-- he's from virginia... spent his life as a Fire Fighter...
beautiful man but what do we do ?
they asked me when i'd be back to florida even the people on the beach "we'll be waiting for your return"
just a slight burn settled into a nice tan got me a new pair of glasses after another massage client that was also a Leo great sex.. like the good old days with...
a faery emails me that day about Robert! "i had sex with him and he left a bunch of stuff in my tent! i emailed him many times and he never responded... does he hate me?"
' no.. it's just what he's like ... '
arrogance and non-compassion we're all there cycling through...
so strange this morning the beautiful french/italian swiss boy going through bear411 and bitching about everyone he saw... ah the beautiful and young of Lauderdale and the old and wise who i came to visit
different beauties...
well thanks thanks Florida for the sun and sea the conversations people's lives...
sat at the terminal posted the journal entry i wrote when i first got there and the one i wrote on the plane backdated them so you have to click on my journal to read them
but this is just to let you on my friend'slist know
i'm home.
Hello New York City
i've missed you!
now: to meet up with my Australian friend over in Terminal 7 -- we're off to Broadway!