June 13th, 2005

through the trees


i got up here pretty early on Friday
and pretty immediately fell asleep on the bed

slept for about three hours, i think.

N was working in the studio

work work.

we then went out
to Woodstock

having just driven about two hours (in the rain)
i was a little burnt out
and didn't really enjoy woodstock

for some reason
i had the few times before i'd been there
but this time
it just seemed tedious

we headed home
after buying a few art supplies
and eating bad mexican food made by unhappy white girls

on the way back to the house
we drove by Bard Campus
and i saw a kid i had met a few months ago at the More Gardens house.

Jack.. and his beautiful white dog: Birch

i pulled into the parking lot
and chased after him

Birch had been hit by a car in Boston
so they caught a ride over here in a rig the day before to attend a healing gathering called "Earth & Religeon"
which i felt pretty stoked about
that this big thing with all these crazy spiritual people was happening right as i arrived!
but i left N in the car
so after doing a reiki healing session on Birch (with about 7 other people)
i ran back to the car
and drove us home

N went to the studio
i sat at the computer...

around 9pm
i drove back to the campus
because Jack had told me about a fire happening there

so i found them
and sat and listened to stories and songs
wanting to contribute
tell my story
but the more i heard
the more i felt like i didn't really belong

and then i remembered:
this was "Earth & RELIGEON"
and religeon isn't really my bag.

it was nice
i gave Jack a massage
talked with this woman who was a dancer
she seemed amazing
she told these stories about Elephants
did dances
said that they are magical in so many ways
we don't know how
but the African Elephents can find water anywhere
dig down with their tusks
and drink with their trunks...

which creates water holes for other animals to drink from!

and when they mate
they do it ceremoniously:
many females gather around to watch the Bull mate the Cow
and the females all blow their horns
making a glorious sound
and then go to sniff her snatch when it's dripping...

feeling good
but tired
i went home

nearly 1 am
i went to sleep


and woke kinda early

but didn't do much

what'd i do?

layed around
on the computer?
ate apples
been eating apples

N went out to pick up the mail

when he got back
we decided to go visit his friends

who own a company that makes "Dirty linens"
bed sheets and boxer shorts covered with Tom o'Findland's artwork
(no visible cocks- but nice sugestive imagery)

we helped turn pillow cases inside out for an hour or two
having great conversations...
A asked me about what i learned in college
so i told him my life story up-til-now
which is always interesting for me:
people always respond to different things

it felt intense
N and A were good at moving the energy away from things that got too heavy

eventually A needed to crash, though
coz he had a fever

so N and i went to Rhinebeck and walked around town
had two slices of pizza that were pretty good
and came home

i FINALLY got to give N a massage
it was a bit over three hours

funny, though
coz i kept saying things i'd never say to a client
things like "you know: i'm only doing this to cause you pain"
which were jokes and everything
but it was like... preying on his weakness?

sometimes i think i'm a sick fuck....

it's hard to love.
it's hard to heal your lovers

much more difficult than some random joe (or john)

but it was a success

then we went out walking
ate at a new resaurant here in Tivoli
and it was... Bad.


we came home
he NEEDED to watch some TV
so he went upstairs
i... Sat at the computer.

went up to sleep with him when i heard the TV turn off and finished what i was doing
it was around 12:30


slept pretty well.
woke up kinda early.

N was still asleep
and he usually wakes up before me.

i made some lemon water
ate some apples

stretched a bit
sat at the computer

it was nearly 11 by the time N came down

i asked him if he wanted to learn some Yoga
and he said "yes"

so i plied him with water
but asked him not to have coffee or food

when he was ready
we went up stairs
and i instructed him for... about a half hour, probablly
taught him Mountain Pose
and Pranayama

then started with the basic Sun Salutation

so much comes up in being an instructor!
wanting to criticise
but constructively...

wanting to give space
yet guidance

let him feel
yet suggeest...

it was a pretty positive session: he was sweating and breathing hard

i also taught him cat-cow
and let him spend some time in upward/downward dog.

i told him to do it everymorning
when he gets back tomorrow
we'll see if he did.

then he wanted some studio time
so i came down here to sit on the computer...

he got two drawings done
and then we were out the door

to get cash in Red Hook
then eat at a local mexican restaurant actually run by a Mexican woman
and it's the first good mexican food i've had since leaving california!

then he got an iced coffe from the White Rabbit
and we rushed off to make the train.

we did.
the clock in the car was five minutes fast: i corrected it.

then i drove across the river
and just... drove around

in the hills
the farming fields

stopped in at a antique store and bought a silver spoon
(sterling.. he told me the difference between Sterling and Coin...)
then drove up to where Edgewood used to be...
stopped by the Resivoir that supplies NYC
and thanked the water...
it was so beautiful...

then walked through the trees..
it felt SO GOOD to walk in a forest!

i remember, though
as i was approaching it...
The Apprehension
that is a THRILL
that fear
the danger
and walking past that
enjoying it so much

when you know your desire lies on the other side of fear
GO, dear children: GO

i walked in the trees
just felt so loved and good and yum.
picked up a rock to use as an incense burner back at 79 clinton...

then drove...
through the rain...
back home.


little things.
sit at the computer..

very tired
but talked on the phone for a few hours
then headed to bed.
(sometime before midnight, after 11)


woke up around 11 am!

guess i slept well
i woke up a few times before
but just fell back into dreaming


then i scuttled about the house

ate some apples

sat at the computer

stuff happened
day goes by

took a shower
stood Mountain
out in the sun...