?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Vertical Prose


(no subject) @ 03:50 am

Current Music: 11-No, I donÔt remember Guilford-Robyn Hitchcock-Moments

"hang up your net, child:
show some respect
to the ghosts
that are ruining your life
... it's your life."
 

sludging through the second-month slush @ 03:50 am

Current Music: 12-Cynthia mask-Robyn Hitchcock-Moments

i..


am..


Living...


HERE.

all around me is terrifying darkness
shuddering puddles
loud noises
and deafening silence


on the defensive
i have my claws out
my teeth are already bloody...

but i'm sure it's just from biting myself



When ever i have Lived anywhere
i fall into deep sadness

the big mistake has always been that i have lived with someone
in that "lover" kinda way
someone to blame for all of my feelings
and project all of my shit onto

i was smarter this time.

in fact
when i decided i loved some one last time
and wanted to love them
i chose NOT to live with them...
even though they would have let me.

smarter i am.


Curiosity:
not being able to articulate anything
doesn't mean you're dumb, does it?


articulation=
dexterity=
intelligence?


oops!

staying in one place
i cannot run away
from this deep well of sadness

what's so sad, huh?

oh, just everything
the way i love...
the way i tie my shoes...
the way i treat myself
my fears
the walls...

Existence!
politcs
television

idon'tremember

my friend West once told me
(back in '99)
that if i stopped running long enough
sat by a river
listened
and drowned in my saddness
i'd realize it wasn't an endless black pit
but a little puddle

but
ge-golly
it sure is scary from here

i've been here just two months now
and a few days.

i turn 27 on wednesday
saturn return starts july 17th

here i am!
SAD!

i'm smart
i'm not taking it out on anyone
even though it is my habit
i don't believe it
so i'm keeping my shit to myself..


that is
unless
of course
you're checking your friend's list at four a.m.
and drift through this drivel...
 

Vertical Prose