( Collapse ) the guy at the bus stop told me i needed to just write how i write "no use editing the voice of god" after he explained that even Mozart didn't Compose his own pieces they were just dictated and he just wrote them down it flows through
i'm not such a great mouth-piece of god yet but i'm working on singing clearer...
now i'm off to see the Kings of Convenience at the Cafe Du Norde... Yeah!
I Don't Know What I Can Save You From-Kings Of Convenience-Quiet Is The New Loud
this kid i had met said "thanks for not ripping me to shreds in your journal"
while i was waiting for the bus this guy smiled at me and we started talking
i don't usually wait for busses i walk to the next one and often just get to where i'm going or nearly (and then don't bother with the bus) before the bus ever gets to me
but this guy starts talking and i understand it is good to have randomn conversations sometimes and he looks like he needs a smiling face to with we talk at eachother take turns there are compliments and excuses i don't need to give that detail again but while we're on the bus he asks something about intelligent people... or artistic? or maybe that question about single? i don't remember i just remember i looked at him and said ' i tend to like to rip my friends to shreds, i pick them apart and look at the inside of all of their fragments... i like them to tell me why they do and feel things... i want us to both be conscious of it ' he says "well, even if you're conscious of the things you do in your life... doesn't mean it'll change... this guy once asked me why i was attracted to this same type of man over and over and i said -- I AM! and i know that but it's just the way it is"
i paused and said ' true, true enough: just knowing why you do things and noticing you do things doesn't stop...but noticing and knowing gives you the option to continue: eg- i always am attracted to Leos... i always will be- i find them beautiful and attractive and i like to tell them so and that pleases them... and i am good at pleasing them... BUT comming to knowledge of this also showed me the rest of the relationship: i am so busy pleasing them i forget myself... and they are so busy being pleased they certainly don't worry about pleasing me... they think i'm plenty happy pleasing them... so now that i'm aware of it, i can enjoy it like a fine pastry but never again to think i could live off that '
he looks puzzled and says " yeah, i guess you can respond to your feelings differently "