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thoughts right now @ 02:14 am

i actually wrote this a little bit ago...

i've been away from the computer
i've been up in the forest
i've been using my paper journal to make notes
of important things
i'd rather not forget
things
i'd like live through
and live with.

so
there are many even more vague sketches than this
but i'll copy this here
to let you all know i'm back on the grid

will
in fact
be flying into SF in just a few hours

in the mean time
before you see my shining face

here's a little thought i had:

of course
i have come to rest in my Zen Snideness
that is
razing everyone and their lives to trivial, empty, or imperfect trash
and though that gives a certain sense of security
it hits me suddenly
that
though i may feel secure in this nullifying of all these shattered fragments of myself that i meet
my true desire is to feel love and acceptance of them
to see the beauty in their lives
and through that witnessing
be able to bring the light through into them
giving them faith and furthuring their mission, their path, their love
Yes Yes
but i balance that against the feeling that i can't change others' lives
that i SHOULDN'T
and so i should love and appreciate them free of changing them
of bettering them
of nourishing them with love

loving them simply for the satisfaction of the universal energy being used for Love.

Enough
Basta
Enough
what is enough?
 

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