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wash me.. wash me: and i will be whiter than snow @ 09:28 pm

Um
so
yesterday

the morning session i was in the 3rd current room again
it was quite fluky, but i got in there, last seat
they usually reserve these for strong mediums who deal with the rush of energy
me, however, i just got bowled over and knocked out most of the time
i was groggy as hell the next part of the day...

mom was still out of it
her surgery had kicked her around a lot
she was sleeping all the time and in a lot of pain

now
the surgeries are wierd
i still haven't got one... but i have seen one...

most people just sit in the opperating room / 3rd current
and, at the beginning of the given session, all of the spirits of the house
focus on them
and cut things out of them
remove things
replace things
re-arrange things
actually stitch things
re-wire things
it's believable only through faith, honestly

i will tell my tale of it in a moment

i dragged myself back to the Casa after lunch because i couldn't bare to miss a chance in the current
and sat in the 1st current room this time
there was a lot of talking
but i was pretty in the flow
and it was like doing a really intense reiki session
or yoga
or qi-gung
but just amplified a million

that is
it was very easy to stay in the flow
because it was the medium... more than air
i was submersed in it
so all i had to do was direct my energy and it would go

everyone i ever touched
i went to
and sent love and healing

a few of you
i would climb into your body
and hug you
feel your legs and face and belly
neck and shoulders...
pump you with energy

i would distribute gifts
travel from place to place and actually FEEL my friends
it was beautiful

also
i was focusing and sending energy around the Casa
to the surgeries
to João
to other people in the room who needed it

and, alternatively
i would fall back and let myself be washed

the song from "the cook, the thief, his whife & her lover" about
"wash me, wash me, and i will be whiter than snow"

forgive me, but i just found the lyrics to it
and must re-print them here
because they are running through my brain

it is from Psalms 51
(i know i know... i am not one you would think to quote scriptures)
it is mainly the first two stanzas the song is based on, but i am including the whole chapter

A Prayer for Cleansing
51Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me. 4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest. 5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me. 6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. 8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. 9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. 10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. 11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. 12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. 13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness. 15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise. 16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering. 17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. 18 Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem. 19 Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.


ok, if you don't know the song, it is on the soundtrack for the film...

anyway

i felt very energiezed after that session
and met up with Martin and Elizabeth
these two beautiful people
(blubber)
that i met here

Martin, i have told this story already
but we meet every day
we obviously have some karma
he is 23
and has been here for 8 weeks after comming with his mother

is this a warning or a suggestion?

Elizabeth is a beautiful girl from Quebec City
i like her a lot
and have suggested her a few places of travel.

she is.. 20?

they invited me to the Waterfall..

there is a sacred waterfall
but you can only go if you have been told to go by the Entity
or if someone else who has been told to go invites you

so they had, and they invited me
it was the first really hot sunny day
i was barefoot after my first current experience
so i suggested i go get my sandles to walk the long rocky road

i went and fetched them
came back and met them at the Casa (about 10 mintues)
and then was told i must get a suit, no nudity is allowed now
(as orgies had been happening... now the sexes are segregated and no nudity permitted)

so back to the pousada, back to the casa (10 minutes)

then we walked the road
got down there
and there was a group of over 30 women there
all waiting

we waited
we talked
we told stories
and the sun dissapared
and there were still many people
so we gave it a miss

this morning
Josie suggested i see the Entity again
... to see if i should have a Surgery
as only two people in our 10 person group haven't had a surgery
so she and i went to see the entity again...

this time i had tried to prepare questions..
or requests...


i wanted to know if i needed a teacher... or a discipline
and could i be gifted with one i could trust and respect?
i wanted something to take back to the communities i work in
to show them that what they think is un-healable can be healed
and i wanted him to show me how i could get back to that state he put me in...
i wanted to no longer fear love
i wanted to be able to help others with that same thing
(as i know so many people terrified of love)

i decided this was the most important thing
so when i got up in front of the Entity
well, almost
two people in front of me there was a woman
that the entity decided to operate on

right there
physical.

he sat her down i a chair and held out his hand

and assistant brought a tray full of scapels, hemostats... and kitchen knives.
he picked up one
put it back
and chose another

you know, the kind you'd cut your stake with...

he touched the woman's eye...

josie and i and many other focused energy on the João and the woman...

he touched it again

he picked up her left hand and covered her left eye with it

he touched her right eye again
then pulled it open with his fingers
and started scraping it with the knife
started digging in under the eyelid

then whiped the blade off on her shirt
and pushed her to the attendants that wheeled her out.

now, apparently, this kind of surgery isn't even necessarily for the eye...

he does lots of things like this... or used to

like sticking those 7" long hemostats up someone's nose
all the way
as if to burst through the top of their skull

but it doesn't

apparently it transmutes into energy when it enters the body

people don't even usually bleed

even when he cuts them open and removes things from them...

and it doesn't really matter where he does the physical work
because there are a million hands doing work everywhere...

so anyway
i walked up in front of him
he grabbed my hand
and

..hmmm
fairy dust exploded in my head?

i cannot describe
like a fountain of fire that feels really good pouring up through my crown...

i liked it.

we got to read my first request, about not being aftraid of love

and he sent me to the waterfall.

josie wouldn't let me go alone
so i walked with another man who didn't speak english

barefoot

the long rocky road

it was beautiful

no one down there
still morning
due on the leaves of the small plants

i took the paper out of my pockets
and in full white clothes
doused myself for 15 minutes

washed myself

clean.

then i lay down in a pull further down the river from there
lay there and let the water pour over me, under me, all around

10 minutes or so
til i was shivering..
with cold or energy...

i got up
and was covered in leaches...

they only stayed on a minute or two
then all fell off

i wasn't worried at all.


we said the Lord's prayer
and walked back up.


then did the current again tonight
with mom

she asked to wear the Tau that Leo gave me
that is, st. Francis's cross

she forgot his prayer

so, because everything here is connected

we started by saying his prayer
(grin)

like after my first current session
i thought >>what time is it?<< and someone reached in front of me to get water with a watch on their arm fully visible to me

like when i wondered where that one prayer came from
a man came up to me and started talking
and telling me about that prayer
and gave me a copy

because god knows everything

if you let him.



mom is much better

we are all much better
but i don't know how long i will be here
what i am to accomplish
what i need to do

i just want to be whole.

time is up
got to go
 

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