November 9th, 1998


your letters

Subject: your letters
Date: November 9, 1997 09:44:10 PM CST

I haven't responded to any of the letters I have gotten form you or the
people on the mailing list because I don't want to interfear. All of the
writing is so beautiful. Though everytime I read something form you I start
to cry I love listening to all of the thoughts you put out. I know they
are not full of joy but no-one in the world is full of joy so why should
people pretend? I will confess I did not read all that has been sent to
me. My problem was I had to go on the most mind numbing retreat of my life.
It was a full weekend of church camp, so I could be comfirmed. All to make
mom happy. I know i should not do things to make other people happy, but
there are only a few people in the world that i would really like to try to
make happy. One of those people is mom. I think she has earned some form
of happiness.

My problem with myself is, sometimes i find my self not carring either way
about my decissions. you may not think that is bad but I don't want to
lose myself. I haven't been to a dog show in about two months. I really do
miss it. But more than anything I miss my job working for Doug in OKC.I
miss my friends form Texas, Arizona, Nebraska and all those other states
they came form. I really don't have anything worth while to say. I think
I am too stupid to carry on a good conversation with you. I need to read
more and listen to more music. But i do have to say the last Tori concert
I went to, Purdue, was the best of the two concerts I have been to. The
other concert was Tori also. I haven't gotten the new U2 CD yet, but I
would like to know if they are going to come anywhere close, also I would
like to the Beasty Boys in concert.

Any way I really don't want to bore you any more than this.

I really do love you and i miss you a lot