i keep getting smacked with the feeling
of how many people there are in the world.

and i don't need to be famous
coz... even if is were, like (um) Johnny Depp famous
there would be many many people who didn't know about me and didn't care about me.

where did this fucking fame bug come from?
am i so lonely?

there are SO many people in the world just living their lives

finding something to do with every day...

as i packed up the my stuff in goat's house today
putting my stuff into storage
yet again
i thought of all the days people have
all the life lived
all the life wasted

and is there really anything wrong with just watching TV and smoking pot all day?
or drinking?

i guess i just want to have a full life experience
and some sort of noteriety is involved in that
do i have enough?
it's a constant being, it needs to be nourished

and then my body
and then my emotions
and then money
and then stuff

today i was daunted many times by the immense puzzle that is life
as
yet again
i feel like i have to address square one.

[ until i make my own square one, (yes i see now, N) i will keep getting people trying to give me their square one...
which they're doing because they don't really have one either. ]