the shop next door to goat's shop
is an apolstry shop

there is a guy with a fu-man-chu
who always wears plaid
and stands outside smoking

... it takes all my effort
each time i see him
not to ask him if he wants his dick sucked.

whatever it is that makes me stay up and do things here at the shop at 2 am
it works for the people next door

they're often here when i am
but there's more than one
--- i can hear them talking to eachother now..

not loud enough to understand what they're saying...

but i can hear...

anyway

i was noticing today that i've been mostly just writing about all my thinking
and feeling
and that sort of thing
so i wanted to lighten up a bit
and write about sex

... i've not been having much, mind you

what, with my boy friend dumping me and me living in the middle of a forest
(HA! Horse Apples!)

i had a client today
with the largest chest i've ever seen in my life
huge barrel
big all over..

i'm not going to write about what we did
(if you're reading this)
but i am going to write what he reminded me of:

last year i had a client that hired me... for a few days.

he showed me pictures of him the year before with a beard
-- he was beautiful
... he was a Very big man
huge belly
-- he hired me because he thought he couldn't have sex without paying for it
(not the situation with the guy today)

which blew my mind...

so i set out to prove him wrong:
i took pictures of him
his face, his balls, his big belly
and created a profile for him on one of my favourite sites...

-- he's never hired me again
and
last i heard
he was getting all sorts of action
from every direction

(that doesn't, of course, mean he didn't have to deal with his insecurites and stuff still... coz he did, but... at least he was getting laid for the price of them instead of cash )


... share the loving...

and, damn
i wish WalMart sold their men..

i don't know what the fuck was up tonight
but i left the hotel and went to the W to get some ginger root (can't find it anywhere else round these parts without driving into nashville)
and i passed an entirely hot muscle daddy coming out in his sweats
bling round his neck
shaved head
i did my best to turn it
but he walked on, with his huge packages of toilet paper..

the whole mart seemed to be filled with them tonight
ideal bear fatties
big bellies streatching out thermals
little goatees of all colours
shouting at their sons
playing with their babies

it was like being a bear gathering
except i was in a walmart in middle tennesee...

i was panting
following guys up aisles

but no one here thinks i'm gay
they're just a bit scared of me
so avert their glances...

i did have some fun sex with a guy a few nights ago in N
a big round brown bear, with a beard
sweet fellow who used to come out to these gatherings

he told me he liked having sex in europe
in nyc

it was fun

but he's a hunter
and he prefers having to seduce people the hard way

the eye contact
the smiles
the chit-chat, with the quick nods and winks

i can understand that
it's certainly more of a challenge
and when you get to our age (well, he's older, but doesn't my experience count?)
we know that the sex probably isn't going to blow our mind
so the seduction becomes part of the foreplay.



... meanwhile
i started a yeast cleans today
my mouth is already Dragon's Breath.

Goat is gone for a week or so

i'm flying to California on the 8th

probably back here February 20th

maybe Key West after that....