dominicvineoftheowls (dominicvine) wrote,

bedside notes

write about it!

anti social
emotional processing
mess on both sides


i ask too much of the world
but i always will
not interested in settling


i can tell love is not real
because i cannot feel it
& when it is real
- it will not forsake me


my love for him is not real
because i am not willing to pull him through his self-destruction
self alienation

.... when two people love eachother
does it nix all fears and give amazing courage to eachother?

have i found that yet?
recieved it?

i don't think so.
i guess that's true love.


"it's life --
activities available
-- just add meaning "

--"a beautiful mind"


Dark City --

"there's no time for romance:
the world is what you make it"

Joys of humanity
family. spouse
i must sacrifice myself from those
in order to be in the position i wish to be in
-- to create it.


does this make me schizophrenic?



(the end is planned into the whole story)

Daniel Johnston:

another example of someone unable to love freely
-- the perversion of his emotions
yet immense passion

made him a great


his wrecked lonely body
every image -- i wanted to hug him
i wanted to connect with him to let him know
he's not crazy
& help him express his visions
--- Communicate


talks about TV targeting chilcren
to cast spells
-- the most powerful imagination being tapped
to create the future
in their image.


a bad idea played out
everyone buys into it

consensual reality has to play along

it takes years to swallow our pride & forgive ourselves
& stop participating with respect (sanity: forgiveness, forget)

the ultimate socially acceptable
excuase to garnish attention and lose all personal power.


folding (pleated) comforter
maybe like kilt?
lots of fabric
in waves across the bed
layered down thickly
stitched to keep it from coming undone.


Aries Moon?

watching Peter Pan with Goat
--- the ever-hopeful
romanticism of Love
where as, the wholistic support & cynacism of Arthur
someone has to stan by, to witness
hold space for the boy
to have his flights...

i feel afraid of Goat
that he'll be angry --
that i'll hurt him
that there will be things
he'll never understand


i want a man who'll kiss my neck -
i thought i knew all the answer to my wonderings...
a man to seduce me -
the long imagining of how
wo people can be together
--- the great many things
that could be created
the great many things that could be explored

That's the sum total of my want
& it comes with no Astrology nor physical type --

Arthur can never give himself to me as a lover
Leo is already wed to his eternal dying God
Nayland has reduced the world to the complex realm of colours --
simplifiying it to its abstract beauty (in shades of grey)
stripping it of its greatest textures.

what of Goat?
what of Robert & Trevis?

the bears, the bodies, the boys
the million hopes
i've had & having
not dead ends ---
bot LIFE:
gestation chambers,
holding patterns.

until i'm ready to Grow Up
join the human world


write a story
about the stories
people buy into
-- terror - poverty - beauty - sex ,etc..
with a character creating a new KRAZY!!! story

that people buy.


unified cursive text is far too restrictive for me


Nobody's perfect

No body will be perfect
best to take the pieces
i enjoy
a beautiful beard
voluptuous belly
ideal cock

No personality will be perfect
so enjoy the pieces despite that

& it doesn't matter what the drawbacks
coz the world's large enough
to have a bit of everything
& leave when it becomes tiresome
but return when that's the flavour desired

i'm not saying i wouldn't appreciate the whole of one person
but i'd never expect it
& from the evidence witnessed
i have little hopes for it


pictures of


our lovers never see us
they never notice
what we really need
how much love we pour

& i -- as a lover
how much am i missing?


my live would be the pearls
you would be the swine


133:55 -- Suzzanna


no worchester sauce

square one


periods of time apart
to re-kindle the rush of meeting

Lesley loves the Weather.


how nice it would be to read my earlier journals
& see how i perceived the world


while fasting
i hunger for:


deep dish pizza

rich red sauce
Lasagna . . .

fine cheeses
fig bread


ethiopian food

chinese buffet

shitty diner food

white bread & bologna

salmon roe, caviar, cottage cheese




end of days


albert pike
"morals of dogma" (1890)

fairy book of knowledge

"almost here"

Juliet Hulme
pauline parker


my own private idaho
jakob the liar

cafe wha?
lost weekend
sand pebbles

i shot andy warhol

Adv baron Muchausen

the women

debbie does dallas

the italian
sketches of frank ghery
riding alone a thousand miles

somethings last a long time
why we fight
masked & anonymous
american hardcore
strange days
the crow

kiki's delivery service (miyazaki)


osvaldo barrios ("retango")

marcos loya (vibes)

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